It was time, finally time, for America’s Got Talent to show America they listened to the criticism at myrealitytelevision.com, because it is criticism we read throughout the internet, and it is from our readers and others like you. Week after week, people were getting ready to give up on how pathetic this show had become and told us why. We told AGT, and we think they got the point, either through us or through the web.
Any way you cut it, tonight things were different. We liked the format of the show from the start, eliminating last week’s introductory noise, and for the fist time in weeks, we preferred the show to the commercials.
It is possible the Olympic break gave AGT’s choreographers a chance to use their noggins and earn their pay. We hope this lasts through the finale.
Last night, we called 4 out of 5. Our only mistake was Cadence. We think they weren’t good enough, but we were looking at a bunch of mediocre cowboy dancers as competition, so that could have gone either way
- Neal E. Boyd
- Jessica Price
- James Gang
- Extreme Dance FX
We want to give the audience huge credit for voting out the little girl stunt show. They saw right through the nonsense. She had a great cry for the cameras, and it warmed our hearts to see her go for the James Gang who actually have some talent.
1. Beyond Belief Dance Company (8/10)
21 Cheerleaders that call themselves dancers. They needed a whining cameo. “Oh we have sprained ankles, whine whine”. The Acrobatics were OK. They had good choreography, not great, and were a bit random at times. They were in sync for the most part. It was difficult to rate them because of the poor camera work by NBC. A large show like this requires you be able to see the entire act, and it was difficult because they didn’t keep the wide angle on, and the camera crew judged what they thought was important. That is not good for a show where the audience is supposed to vote. We did, however, get a great cliché from Sharon. “You have to take it to a higher level”. D’uh Thanks Sharon. Who doesn’t? It was good fun. And better than anything last night.
2. Paul Salos (7/10)
Sinatra Impersonator. Paul is an elderly sympathy act at 72. He isn’t bad, and starts off in a Sinatra-like suit with some ladies with canes having a Vegas appeal. We give Paul credit, he actually does the singing; this is at least Karaoke, not just lip sync! He did “My Way”. Now, you have to hear Sinatra to know this guy doesn’t sound much like him, but he is fun, and he has his moments. So we have to put him through. The finale kept him from getting a higher score. Frank never said “My WEEE”. If not for the finale, he would be tied with BBDC. Judges played up to him, but if this guy is worth a million bucks, our website is with 2 million. It took forty years for this guy to get this far, and for his ears to get this big.
3. Kazual (7/10)
Temptations like group. The sneakers and outfits did not look good. Good synchronization. Good finish. A bit flat at times. Piers buzzed them and said exactly what we thought. Good harmonies, but the solos weren’t good enough. Fun stuff though.
4. Zoo-perstars. (9/10)
Inflatable Dancers. They look like team mascots. There was a hysterical cameo. It was totally sarcastic of the show’s condescending whining cameos. The leader said, “This competition means everything to us. We have dedicated our lives, sacrificed our families, our friends…”, all while in an inflatable chipmunk outfit. We were already laughing at all the pathetic heart-string sob stories in earlier AGT cameos. “America will vote for us because we are pretty, short and sweet.”
We already did!!
Piers said “This is not Talent”, but he totally missed the point of the Zoo-perstars. It was a satire of everything stupid in America’s Got Talent! Piers buzzed them immediately. They danced to Macho Man in inflated mascot outfits and had us in hysterics. The chipmunk leader completed the YMCA signature move with his feet while standing on his head. For the finale, the inflatable snail eats one of the crew. Even Piers was reluctantly laughing at the end. Standing O!!!
Piers showed Springer is not the only narcissist on the show; he actually told the audience to shut up? Piers, don’t be a condescending prick or you WILL be deported. Our only complaint about the act is they could have used funnier inflatable costumes, like an inflatable Hillary. If they were to pull off a couple of more creative inflatable costumes, these guys could win a million bucks!!
5. The Wright Kids. (7/10)
No sob story cameo. Basic family story. Good job. Kind of a child sympathy act, but good. They did a Monkey’s tune, “Daydream Believer”. First kid’s singing was a bit flat. They look like they are playing instruments, maybe they are, but the background drowns them out. In fact, you can’t hear the kids instruments at all. Really, it is karaoke, but cute. Standing O.
6. Jonathan Arons (7/10)
Good cameo, tough to get recognition, something new and fresh. Again, good job. No sob story. No my dog died or I stepped on my pet caterpillar to string us along.
Jonathan plays a trombone with dancing. Unique act. Only mediocre trombone, but that is a small part of the act. The performance is much better than the trombone. Lots of fun background dancing. The act was funny and performed to “Dancing in September”. They did a Lawrence Welk style “Overhead flower”. Piers, as much as we hate to say it, said it all. He said Jon was “One sandwich short of a picnic, but you’re also incredibly entertaining…”. Sharon added, “Great Fun”.
7. Specialist Daniel Jens (6/10)
Daniel is nothing but an Iraq Sympathy Act. He actually forgot his words in his prior performance and if this show were real, would not be where he is. He finally did a good cameo, not a whining act like the first. His performance was in a rising mist (amazing what you can do with dry ice) and the guitar was actually in tune. It was the chorus where he showed how poor a performer he really is. At that point, he gave up his guitar and showed that none of the music was actually his, it is a CD. Daniel has a fan cluster in fatigue T-shirts that say “America’s got Jens”, but he has no real talent. Piers tells him like it is, he does not have the voice to play in Vegas, or anywhere else. We give Jens credit for trying to finally be genuine here, no tear-jerking bull, but we never liked him.
8. Slippery Kittens (7/10)
This is a middle aged burlesque show. There was a good cameo. No crybaby antics. “We are going to show you burlesque like it has never been done before”.
They started with sexy boy scout outfits in miniskirts. These gals do have gams, and other attributes. Great choreography! Fun, but not exceptional talent. Great for a USO performance though!! Our troops would LOVE these gals!! They finally discarded their boy scout uniforms for Red White and Blue outfits that look like bathing suits. Piers buzzed because he hates everything American, but it was fun stuff. Not a million bucks worth, but fun. Standing O. Too many tattoos on the leader, but legs! This clearly played to the Oedipus complex, and did a pretty good job.
These gals will appeal to middle aged men throughout America! MILFS.
9. George the Giant (5/10)
This is a 7’3″ guy that does weird things. He said in his cameo, he only fits in on the stage. Nice cameo. No sob story. Says he went to the hospital trying to perform his upcoming act. “If that means risking my life, that is what I am going to do”. Not unrealistic for a million bucks.
George came in chained, looking like Harry Houdini. He strung himself upside down and then blew it. He had kids brought in to beat him like a pinata. Piers buzzed him immediately. Sharon followed. He escapes from his chains while being beaten by a fat woman with a baseball bat and coughs up a ton of candy. Judges look on in shock. Funny for 30 seconds, but no Vegas act.
Once again, it isn’t over until the “Fat Lady” sings. This gal can whale. Whoops…wale. Sorry. “This is a dream come true”. Not a horrible cameo. No real sob story. “Nothing is impossible.” Corny, but not stupid.
Emily came out dressed like Queen Latifah in a long red dress that has a cape with tons of cubic zirconia. Her performance was to “Aint no Mountain High Enough”. The long red dress looks good, and she fills it. Emily had good supporting dancing and got a standing O.
Piers called her a superstar. Someone that can beat Michael Phelps. Piers has to have someone tell him how stupid he sounds. He just demonstrated his total contempt for Amymerica. Making any comparison of this woman to a man that just set the world record for most gold medals in an Olympics after 36 years is like comparing a breath mint to the cure for Polio. It is downright stupid. “You are now absolutely the front runner.”, Piers blathered (we are not so sure about that). At first, the performance sounds great, but a review of the performance makes one realize the Queen is little more than Karaoke. Her singing was drowned out by the background which was mostly the original Supremes.
Here are our picks:
1. Zoo-perstars. No false hype. No nonsense. This is just hysterical fun. These guys are great comics. Piers misses the point entirely.
2. Queen Emily. A bit of Karaoke. We know she can sing, but she has to do it next time on her own or she won’t be here.
3. Beyond Belief Dance Company. We liked them because they were nothing but true effort and talent.
4. Slippery Kittens. We liked the show for its “Desperate Housewives” feel. Some hot women dancing and performing burlesque. It isn’t new, but it sure isn’t tired like many of the acts on this show. Great job ladies.
5. Jonathan Arons. We have no idea why this guy sticks in our minds, but he was fun. We laughed, we cried, well, we at least laughed. He is funnier than the two presidential candidates by a long shot. So we stuck with him.
What we think the audience will vote for:
1. Queen Emily
3. The Wright Kids (unless they can see around the child sympathy act again)
4. Paul Zalos
5. Slippery Kittens