Happy birthday, definitely-not-Batman!
1. The life of a sad billionaire orphan isn’t easy, but Bruce Wayne handles it with impeccable style.
2. Remember that time he handled the tragic death of his parents like a man? I do.
3. And when some little punk tried to get in his face about being an orphan or whatever, Bruce had absolutely none of it.
4. He cracked that sucker’s face open with his father’s watch because Bruce Wayne doesn’t have ~time~ for bullies.
And Alfred let him do it. Never forget that.
5. While other kids his age are collecting PokÃ©mon cards, Bruce collects evidence of corruption in the city he calls home.
6. (He also often falls asleep on the evidence of corruption in the city he calls home but that’s OK Bruce, it beats doing homework.)
7. But seriously, Bruce Wayne is a genius boy detective and every single cop in Gotham wishes they had his skills.
Even these two. Especially these two.
8. Bruce Wayne once fell down a hill and probably sprained his ankle. Do you think that stopped him?
9. IT DIDN’T. He army-crawled right back up that hill and arrived in time to drink tea and watch the sunrise.
WHY DO WE FALL?
10. The young ladies of Gotham have also noticed that Bruce is a total BAMF.
11. Selina Kyle might even like him, and she doesn’t like anyone.
12. Bruce is the de facto head of a multibillion dollar company. In case you didn’t know.
13. His Board of Directors thinks he’s just a little boy but that is the last mistake any of them will EVER MAKE.
14. Because Bruce Wayne isn’t even close to messing around when it comes to his parents’ legacy.
15. That’s just the kind of guy Bruce is! Brave, stalwart, true, and also a total badass-in-the-making.
16. So until everything falls to shit and he decides to dress up like a bat and wreck criminals in his spare time, Gotham’s going to have to answer to Bruce Wayne.
As it turns out, today is both the birthdays of Bruce Wayne the character AND David Mazouz, the actor who plays Bruce Wayne on Gotham. How’s that for a coincidence?
Happy Birthday to both!