Kathy Griffin doesn’t handle being out of the spotlight very well, despite the fact that she should be pretty used to it right now. That’s why, as Twitchy told you,she’s proudly pushing her latest “art” project, which consists of her posingwitha replica of Donald Trump’s severed head.
Jenna Jameson had a thought about that:
If @kathygriffin wanted to shock people, she should actually be funny.
Save a tear, though, for those working behind the scenes in the entertainment industry who have also been broken by the election of Donald Trump. Some of them spoke this week during the Television Critics Association press tour, and Variety was there with the sad story.
That works out well, then, because we don’t want to watch late-night TV anymore either. Variety reports:
“I dont want this job” was the general feeling among the writers who gathered Saturday at the Television Critics Assn. summer press tour in Beverly Hills for a panel titled Has Politics Made Late-Night Great Again?” Panelists included Ashley Nicole Black, a writer for “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee,” Christine Nangle, head writer for “The President Show,” Hallie Haglund, writer for “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah,” and Jason Reich, head writer for “The Jim Jefferies Show.”
“I just find it exhausting. Its hard to find it fun,” said Reich of the pressure to keep up with the constant news cycle generated by the administration.
So it’s really boring, exhausting, and upsetting to be a late-night TV writer? Maybe it would be healthy for everyone to shake things up a bit and, you know, write something funny.
In Hollywood, there’s an unspoken rule that the bigger the star, the bigger the paycheck. And while most celebrities can make a killing by starring in a box-office smash, not everyone can (or wants to) break out into the movies. In fact, actors, actresses, and TV personalities are proving that television might just be where the real money’s at.
In a recent report from Variety, the top-earning men and women in television were broken down into three categories: drama, comedy, and reality/host/news. Some of the celebs below may come as no surprise, but I bet you can’t guess the daytime star that tops the list as the highest-paid person in television.
1. Sofia Vergara – $250,000 per episode
Since 2009, Vergara has portrayed Gloria Delgado-Pritchett on ABC’s smash-hit comedy “Modern Family,” which is now in its eighth season. This Colombian-American actress rakes in an estimated $6 million per season.
Netflix has given traditional broadcast television a run for its money over the last decade, and it’s really beginning to show. Kevin Spacey stars in the lead role of the streaming service’s Emmy-winning drama “House of Cards,” and each season, he walks away with $6.5 million.
3. Ellen DeGeneres – $20 million per year
Since starting her own daytime talk show in 2003, Ellen DeGeneres has been serving up witty jokes and laughing her way to the bank. Not including her numerous endorsement deals, this hysterical comedian takes home an estimated $20 million a year. Not too shabby!
Matt Lauer has been delighting viewers as a co-anchor of NBC’s “Today” show since 1997. Now in his 19th year with the program, Lauer brings home between $22-25 million per year for his early-morning antics.
5. Jim Parsons – $1 million per episode
Parsons is known for playing the egocentric Sheldon Cooper on CBS’s “The Big Bang Theory,” now in its tenth season. Parsons, along with fellow cast members Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki, make an estimated $1 million per episode.
But you might be surprised to learn that the person earning the most money on television is…Judge Judy.
Judge Judy Sheindlin might just be the hardest-working woman on TV, and her earnings certainly reflect that. America’s favorite small claims court judge makes a whopping $47 million a year. With an income like that, who are we to judge?
When people think of comedy, they usually think of going to a show and having mindless fun. Though if you really pay attention, you can find little hidden gems of wisdom in a comedian’s act. Comedians often say profound and inspiring things that you didn’t notice because you were laughing too hard. That’s the great part of comedy: you can laugh just as much as you can learn.
1.) “I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn’t mean that at all. It means that you’re afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right.” – Craig Ferguson
2.) “What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who’s good-looking; if they open their mouths and they’re an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.” – Patton Oswalt
5.) “You should bring something into the world that wasn’t in the world before. It doesn’t matter what that is. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table or a film or gardening—everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say ‘I did that.'” – Ricky Gervais
7.) “I talk for a living, so I should be able to say anything I want to say regardless of how you feel. What we’re starting to deal with now is your opinion matters, but to be quite honest, your opinion means nothing.” – Patrice O’Neal
9.) “So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.” – Ellen DeGeneres
10.) “The whole idea of love is scary – so is being with someone for the rest of your life and being happy with them for the rest of your life. There’s lots of research to suggest that, actually, love’s not really that simple.” – Aziz Ansari
18.) “I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends, and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t ultimately start judging you and your choices.” – Sarah Silverman
Tonight’s “Last Comic Standing” was a huge improvement over last week. They brought the bulk of the comics to the audience for voting, like we hoped they would in our last article, and it was a great show!!
It started off with the comics discussing Iliza. It was obvious that if they were on the way to the cemetery again, they would not vote for her. As one comic put it, if she got into the showdown again and won, this would become a story about her instead of a competition.
But they had nothing to fear, because the change was on. Tonight there would be no cemetery. Tonight, everyone was fair game. Tonight, it would be up to the TV audience; a fair challenge to see who was best. Our kind of show!!
To get “immunity”, the comics were first challenged to bring laughter to a select group. In case you don’t know what “immunity” is, it means that the person that gets “immunity” does not have to compete that week and cannot be eliminated.
The first challenge was rather dumb and a waste of time. The cast went to a Sushi bar and did some comedy while cooking for Lady Body Builders, Deal or no Deal (a set of hot women, now isn’t that unfair to Iliza?), the frat boys of Sigma Chi (I think that is right) and a bunch of midgets.
This was boring and seemed to serve no purpose.There was no voting, and it appeared to just be filler. They had to make the show run two hours, and well, our best guess is that they ran out of material and used this to burn time. Yawn. No one was spectacular and this part of the show was totally forgettable. In fact, you can delete this paragraph.
But the next stop was interesting. The comics were loaded on the bus and carted off to what appeared to be a mansion. A beautiful estate with a pool swarming with…bikini-clad models. What could this be? Of course; the Playboy mansion.
Three hot Playboy models that have repeatedly adorned the front page of the most famous men’s magazine in history came down the stairs to meet the remaining cast of performers. And those men that were eliminated in prior weeks committed hari-kari immediately upon viewing this segment of the show. Esther, however, was not amused.
The task was to take a story line , make it into a fairy tale and tell it to the three models. The one that got the highest vote would get “immunity”.
You know, the performances were all pretty crappy. It is difficult to perform comedy to strangers on the spur of the moment, but one performer was head and shoulders above the rest. His advantage? Something comedians have used for eons to gain an advantage on stage. Something that allows them to wow an audience quickly and that is a great lead into other material. Something that even exploits the humor of other well-known performers. What could it be? Impersonations of course. And Marcus killed it.
What was funniest, though, was how dumb the three blonde models played through the entire set, leaving us thinking, “Wow, these really are three dumb blondes!!” Then, they came down with their selection and showed us all; nothing could be further from the truth. These ladies were far from dumb and they are living in that mansion for a reason. Well, right, multiple reasons, but one of them isn’t because they are dumb.
So, it came down to a showdown among the finalists. We will list each and rank them and you will be given a chance to pick your favorite and your least favorite.
1. Adam Hunter – Adam started off slow but got progressively better and had us laughing by the end of his set. He uses major facial expression and got a 7 out of 10 from us for his performance.
2. Iliza – The winner over the past two weeks was clever again, trying to draw in the audience, but this week, she wasn’t going to take out everyone. She got a ranking of 6 out of 10 from us, but did get a giggle or two.
3. Sean – Great performance by Sean. His initial lead-in was only fair, but when he broke into song, he had us in stitches. His facial expressions are priceless and the lyrics classic. We won’t repeat them here. You have to see the show. He took the lead with an 8 out of 10.
4. Jim Tavare – You know, Jim started real slow. He came on with a Bass Violin and led us down a merry path of boredom until he hit his stride and then had us laughing huge. One joke was “I went to a child psychiatrist; he was 8”. Delivery is everything and this guy brought it. 9 out of 10.
5. Jeff Dye – Cute for the ladies who obviously love this guy, but only a moderate performance. Got a couple of giggles out of us, but overall, 5 out of 10.
6. Ron G – Ron seemed to grab the audience, but we didn’t get it. Because he had the audience’s attention though, we gave him 7 out of 10.
7. Louis Ramey – Fantastic from the word go. One laugh after another. “I never go to book stores, because I have cable.” Or “Ladies, if a man ever tells you he wants to cover your entire body in honey and lick it off, you are looking at a man that has never tried it before”. 10 out of 10.
OK, so there you have it. The bottom for us was Jeff Dye. Just not funny. Iliza didn’t have a good week either, so she could go too. The top three that should garner the audience’s favor are Louis Ramey, Jim Tavare and Sean. Adam Hunter and Ron G could be at risk.
Now what else do we say? Katee will win this competition too?
Polls are now closed. Thank you.
[poll id=”9″] [poll id=”11″]
If you missed last night’s “Last Comic Standing”, don’t fret too much, because you didn’t miss much. The show was drawn and tiring. The final face-off was OK, drawing the occasional laugh, but overall, just not too funny.
Bill Bellamy, the talented host, is always energetic and a great cheerleader for the show, but he can’t carry it by himself. He needs a bit of good humor from the contestants.
If you want to see how exceptional Bill is as a talent, check this out… It is reverse racism, which I find black comics abuse, but it is funny and in good humor.
Last week, if you recall, Esther Ku and God’s Pottery were eliminated for calling out Iliza Shlesinger, who got over 60% of the vote with what seemed like a mediocre performance. Iliza drew in the audience well enough to garner votes well in excess of the differential between her and Ku. God’s Pottery came up short being too limited in their humor. They have a niche, but it is too narrow. It is akin to “Alter Boys” off broadway, amusing for a short period, but getting old really fast and leaving the audience looking for the nearest exit.
This week, though, Iliza may have shown why she won last week. This week it came down to Paul Foot, Iliza and Papa CJ. And this week, Iliza went second, not last, giving the advantage to the Indian comic, Papa CJ.
It started off with Paul Foot. You had to feel sorry for him. He seemed so nervous about his material and being on television. He got the audience laughing, but he was real slow to start. His first joke seemed to go on forever. And his best joke was that a living room is the place we go to die because we can’t hang out in the hallway or bathroom. It was humorous, but not of the quality it would take for the first person to win the face off.
Then, Iliza (who now has first name status, huge advantage) came on. The comics did not vote her into the face-off this week. She was called in by Papa CJ to get revenge on her for voting for him the week prior. Now, this is a stupid tactic. Iliza should have been avoided. She just won the week before. She was on a roll and the audience was already familiar with her. Plus…she was in her element. She is an American comic that lives in the western US totally at home in LA. This was not the time to test her again after she just sent Ku packing, who, in our opinion, is better than Papa CJ or John Foot.
Well, Iliza is clever. She used specific jokes to get the audience to identify with her. For example, she used the video game “Oregon Trail” to draw people in because she knew many would have played the game. This got a the bulk of the audience into the act, which demonstrates that Iliza knows how to lead an audience.
What became most evident about her in this performance is how she uses her body to perform. In last week’s performance, it was not as apparent, perhaps because she did not want to play that card against Ku, who is much cuter. But in this performance, she wore a very low cut blouse and did over a dozen frontal dips for the audience to make sure she gave the best view inside. It was her ace in the hole, her major differentiation and her best physical feature. She used it well.
Papa CJ came out last and was funny at first. But he tried too hard, centering on one black man in the audience to heckle. At first, the participant seemed to think it was funny, but after jokes about gay sexual relations with the man and a number of jokes that went too far, Papa CJ commented that if the guy didn’t like it, he didn’t care because he was from the land of the Kama Sutra and could screw him in more ways than he knew. Offensive and not funny; something that was apparent on the face of the man he heckled.
Papa CJ also made a major blunder. He not only used a lewd premise for his piece, but much of it was censored. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeep. That made it less funny and the black man he chose to heckle obviously laughed less and less during the performance making Papa look a bit the fool.
So, at the end of the day, Iliza won again. Two competitions in a row!! With over 60% of the vote!!! Now, even if her cleavage flashing helped, even if her “home team” status helped, and even if in the first week she got to go last helped…that is impressive!! She took out FOUR COMICS!!!! In TWO WEEKS!!!! Actually, she took out five because one of the acts was God’s Pottery last week, and they are a duo.
Iliza is a gal to be reckoned with. She is sexy in a subtle way, and she also has a way of drawing in the audience. The guys, who looked real nervous as Iliza did it again, likely won’t be calling her into the ring again any time soon.
Point, set, and match to Iliza…the winner by a pair. Hair? Uh…Whoops.