8/26 Season 3: America’s Got Talent Goes Live… Our Top Picks & Prediction

The show started just like a “Girls Gone Wild” commercial.  We were waiting for the 2 for 9.95 DVD offer at the end.  We were certainly hoping the performers would have more talent than the choreographers of this show.

This was supposedly LIVE!!  With a couple of exceptions, the show was rather dead.

Acts by numbers with scores:

1. Xtreme Dance FX  (6/10)

Fun act.  One guy and eight gals clogging and breaking a bit.  Won over Peirs, which is not easy to do.  The stupid comment of the night came from guess who? He said they all looked just too young.  They have 5 year olds on the friggin’ show they patronize, and this group of 14-26 year olds are too young?  I am not even going to say the guys’ name; you know who he is.

2. James Gang (6/10)

Again a fun act.   Four guys that do a Broadway Style show to 20s music throwing in some rap-like singing and some amateur magic.  Of course, there was one loser judge that exclaimed in the massively overused cliche, “That is what this show is about!!”.  Again, we are not going to grace this page with his name.

3. Derrick Barry as “Brittranny” Spears (3/10)

Mediocre female impersonator that lip syncs and dances with some others to a Brittany song.  He does look like a girl.  If that was what it would take to be a millionaire performer on Vegas, some of the street walkers would have something to say about it.  We suggest he change his act’s name to Britranny!

4. Elite (5/10)

A young girl that pretends to do stunts with guys that throw themselves all over the stage.  It is cute.  But it is only being voted through because it is a child sympathy act.  If she were an adult, she would be booed off the stage.

5. Ronny B (2/10)

Vote for this guy just to annoy the judges.  He is going to go on the new reality show “So You Think You Can Spaz” next year.  Lousy singing, spastic dancing, and a cornball look.  What else would you want to pay for in Vegas?  Piers did get it right though saying, “You’re better than Hasselhoff”.  Alright, we didn’t say his name, Peirs did!

6. Cadence (5/10)

Cadence had an interesting act when they first performed with just plastic buckets.  It was tight and showed some personality.  In this act, they brought on drum sets, oversized bongos, etc.  They were all over the place and just making noise.  Then they tried to do a “Blue Man Group” imitation by smashing on buckets with water on top (so original) and they lost us completely.  No talent here.

7. Jessica Price (7/10)

This girl is a very attractive young guitarist that has a mediocre voice.  She did a horrible version of Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper).  The chorus was strong and she was better than anyone else thus far.  But we still think singers belong on Idol not here.  This is for unique acts, not more singers, especially not mediocre ones.

8. Shim Shee (5/10)

Parlor Card Trick that was so obvious how it works that it amazed us that only Peirs called him out on it.  If it wasn’t for the back-flip getting the card to stick to the shoe, he may have gotten a 3.

9. DC Cowboys (6/10)

Sync dancing in cheap suits.  Piers X’ed em.  Poor coordination, weak choreography, some cheap gymnastics. Somewhat fun for a cheap wedding act. Got their shirts off.  At least they are buff.  Sharon liked the bodies and enthusiasm.

10. Neal “Fatboy” E. boyd. (9/10)

“My Mom always knew all I ever need out of life was encouragment…”.  We agree Neal, along with about 10000 calories worth of pizza and junk food a day.  “The night before she died, my grandmother got to see me sing on the show…my very first audition, she says to me, you did good darlin’ you did real good, next day, she was gone.”  The tear jerker cameo.  Oh brother.

Fortunately, he gave up the cry baby act and finally sang.  If he cut the patronizing cameo nonsense, we would have enjoyed him much more.  The performance was boring, but the voice is powerful.  He got a standing O.  We don’t like singers on the show, we think they should be on Idol if they are any good, but there was such little other talent on this show, we will take Neal over the rest.

Our top 5

1. Neal E Boyd
2. Jessica Price
3. DC Cowboys
4. Xtreme Dance FX
5. James Gang

How we think America will vote

1. Neal E Boyd
2. Jessica Price
3. Elite
4. Cadence
5. James Gang

But really, other than Neal and Jessica, none have any talent, and not even the top two are Las Vegas draws.

8/9 America’s Got Talent, But This Show Has Become a Joke!!

We should start by saying we loved this show the first year through last.  It has found some real talent, brought us a number of diverse acts, and entertained us week after week.  We are hoping this year is an anomaly in what has been a consistent winner, but has now become the Jerry Springer freak show.

We would like to see Jerry go as the host.  It is hard to take him seriously given his background.  All we can think of when we see him is his own personal freak show, in which the typical episode stars two fat women duking it out over the an ugly guy that is cheating on them both with sheep.

The judges we can give some slack.  We think the show could stand to get someone with actual talent to be a judge, but in reality, that is not necessary.  All of us can recognize talent, so they should be able to do the job.   Right?

The show begins informing the audience that there were over 100 acts passed through to Vegas!!  They missed the point.  Of the 100, least 60 of them were no-talents that did not belong here in the first place.

It is not easy to be a judge on this show, because it is not easy to pick the winner (but the viewing audience does that); that is challenging.  It is, however, extremely easy to pick out those that could compete for a chance at performing 45 minutes or more day after day in Las Vegas.  They try to make the trivial seem difficult, and it is totally disingenuous.

We have decided we are likely to cut this show if it does not improve big time.  It is not sincere and most of what they discover and play up is garbage.  It is much more beneficial to our audience if we spend time on genuine reality shows, and will likely spend our time focusing our future articles on the Olympics, the American Idols and other reality that is genuine, not Jerry Springer farces.

Back to the show.  They now tried to play up the Elvis impersonator, Joseph Hall.  After the “should we pass him through” nonsense act, and a bunch of patronizing filler, they pass him through.  How many commercials did that justify?

Is 90 minutes up yet, please????!!!!  Nope, not yet. They emulate the audition climaxes in American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance.  They bring on the Chippendale singer, and play him up for all it is worth.  And the decision is?  Sharon says, “We are definitely giving you a place in our semi-final”.  Why?   We hear there are male strip joints in Hollywood, so if he doesn’t make it on this show, we know not all is lost.  Sharon made sure she got his phone number as she slipped a twenty into his trousers.

It is time to play up the child acts, which is pathetic exploitation of children.  And they send a mediocre child singer to Hollywood that has no prayer of winning.  They all cuddle up with her as though she is their granddaughter.  Pathetic.  But they gave her tokens for the slots and black jack in Vegas, so that was cool!!

Now they whip through several acts and crush the dreams of folks that eat too many donuts!

Time for two twin sisters, “Indigo”!  They come on wearing nearly nothing, and Hasselhoff eyes light up as usual.  They get sent on to Hollywood, after Hasselhoff offers dinner to Sharon and Piers to see if he can bed the twins before they get sent packing.

Now it is time for the sympathy acts.  They have elderly and more children crying before the commercial.  OK, we are all set for the tears.  We are crying already from enduring this show!!  So why shouldn’t the children cry too?

“It is my last chance” says a pouting Paul Salos.  Sorry if we spelled it wrong, because this show cannot afford to use subtitles.  It is his last chance!!!  Of course it is, the guy is 74 years old!!  We figure that Paul can get some great birthday performances to assist him in his retirement.  “My wife loves me so much she put my picture on a stamp”.  Yeah, that costs about two bucks these days, but that is about what your act is worth!!  They let him through, but it wasn’t because of talent. More sympathy votes.

They then send a couple of obligatory pathetic child acts through to Hollywood to play on the audience’s heartstrings.  We are getting sick of this show taking advantage of children and the elderly to try and make their show seem sympathetic, while collecting millions in commercial revenues.  Find us talent.  As Hasselhoff says about two times a show, “THAT IS WHAT THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT!!!”.  If this show just focused on the target, they would get there!! Last year was great, they did their jobs.  This year, they are not!!

So now, the writers figure, let’s play up the Iraq angle again.  The soldier performed last week and forgot the words, but this show hasn’t exploited him enough just yet.  The minimal talent soldier gets sent to Hollywood,  How can the show vote through someone that has no real talent, cannot win, and cannot even remember the words to a song?  We get it now, talent does not matter.  Just go to Iraq or get some other angle that the show can exploit, and you get to the finals!!!   Talent is irrelevant.  We suggest that become the new title of the show!!!  “Talent Is Irrelevant”.  What do you think?

They then work through a bunch of acts we cannot cover.  We are sorry, they did it so fast, that if they were even half way decent, they could have spent five minutes on them instead of so much time on the self-aggrandizing judges.

They still haven’t gotten it yet.  Our readers are disgusted with how misogynistic these judges are.  We want talent.  They are not it!!  Try and convince us what you have found is worth 20 minutes of consecutive commercials!!

Queen Emily gets a cameo that is long enough for us to actually catch her name.  “I have waited for this moment for over 25 years!”  Folks, the woman is 40 years old.  Her dream of a diet probably started long after age 15.  The judges put her through, and played up the nonsense through a commercial set before they did so.  Could they be any more condescending towards the audience?

So they patronize us some more passing through a few more token performers to Hollywood, making us all feel how kind and loving the judges are.  In the next ten minutes, they whip through act after act, and they quickly eliminate people that should never have passed the original audition in the first place. They break to more commercials playing to your emotions, or stupidity, as you are convinced to buy a new car or a specific brand of toothpaste.

They did eventually turn to the Brittney transvestite.  Jerry paid to get her through to the finals and plans a future show with her, uh him, uh it, acting as the mistress to two fat guys both married to the same hooker.  Her jockstrap was shining, and we are sure Jerry was proud.  She said “All they have to do is put their mind to it” as she caressed her Cubic Zirconia dog collar.  Wow.

We just had to stop.  There was no talent on this show.   The judges were pathetic, the show was worse.  It was all a play on the heartstrings of America, but there was no Terry Fator in this crowd.  We said to watch the final, don’t bother.  Watch the Olympics.  That is reality television.  This is a joke.

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8/5 Season 3 Recap: America’s Got Talent Meets Last Comic Standing!!

It is time for the auditions to end, and for the folks that made it through to Vegas to show us all why they should move on.

It started with an incredibly cornball introduction in which the judges played themselves up, sitting on a private jet, and trying to make America feel envious. Tell us, does David talk to the plane too? Have these people learned yet that you never ever talk DOWN to your audience? The judges are not hunks (any more) and they have no 40″ bust lines, so if they don’t have any talent, one has to question why we watch them. This is “America’s Got Talent”, and when the judges have no talent and apparently can’t find any, how can you believe the show?

So Piers says they have to get tough!! Wow. What were the auditions about? They passed through half of God’s creation at our expense so they could get tough NOW?

After spending the show’s money sending a bunch of farcical acts through to Vegas, they now eliminate them before they even have a chance to perform. Are these clowns serious? We could only go along with this if they let us vote out at least one judge. We are leaning towards Hasselhoff, but Piers is second. Oh crap, just get rid of them all.

Last week was the Jerry Springer Show, where they aired freak after freak, but this one was even worse. It challenged us throughout to understand what was going on as they played self-aggrandizing music and promoted the judges in place of the real stars. Could we please cut to Pamela Anderson? We need something with a higher intelligence and a bigger bust line here!!

They then created groups a to d and wiped out c. We are not sure who was in c; neither are you, but that was the unlucky letter of the day.

Why did you fly them to Vegas to eliminate them before they got to perform? That is stupid. They should have been voted out before this episode.

You know, the best part of Jerry’s show and the best part of this one, is that it reminds the people in America how stupid the media takes us for, and hopefully, it will cut that multi-million dollar paycheck the judges get for doing nothing but sitting and making stupid comments down to a more reasonable level (like zero). The judges would be better off trying their limited talents on “Last Comic Standing”!! Certainly, this show was a joke, so why not bring it to an appropriate audience?

After more filler, they tried a grouping of “extreme” acts, but they whipped through them faster than we could see, once again focusing on the ultimate freak show, the judges, rather than the performers.

The Concrete breaker makes the stage. He busts layers of concrete with his head, hands, feet; you name it. (No not that).

The next act, Dan Meyer, swallowed swords. He swallows a couple, including a crooked sword, proving his colon has a curve in it and manages to simultaneously complete his colonoscopy. Next!!

Now we get a Brittney Spears as a cross-dresser act. She would have fooled Crocodile Dundee, but not the audience. This was clearly no “Shirley”.

A Tina Turner impersonator that lip syncs and has bigger thighs than Conan the Barbarian performs next. Wow. Yup, that is worth a million bucks!!

And now an Elvis impersonator that gets nervous in front of the judges. He did OK, but the way the show was laid out from beginning to end, we have no idea whatsoever if he got through. It is like missing a line in a bad movie and never being able to recover. You don’t know what happened, but you really don’t care.

There was only one magician they showed, and what really ticked us off here was there were several that were great in past shows, and they only showed us one freak act. He tries to split a girl using a curtain to hide his “magic” only to have the curtain suddenly roll up exposing his entire trick. He then says it was planned. Why? To prove himself an idiot?

They went through several segments, and then played up the child sympathy acts. A contortionist and a break dancer kid that is broken period. Great. We have nothing against kids, but these are not million dollar talents, just interesting family distractions.

Some freak acts then broke out and we had to quit and made our run to the bathroom. You cannot, as a half way intelligent person, believe that this was a show worth airing.

So when we got back from relieving ourselves, they finally decide to vote. Oh joy.

They pass through every freak show except the guy that breaks concrete. Couldn’t they have killed a few birds with one stone and taken out the rest of the no talent freak shows like the Brittney impersonator? Please.

Tap Dancing Dads make it through, but we still don’t get to see their act. How stupid do these choreographers think the audience is? If we weren’t critiquing the show we would have shut it off half an hour earlier!! I guess this implies that we have to watch every show, or heaven forbid, we might miss 100 year old men tap dancing, because that is about the age they will be before the show actually airs one of their performances.

A few more freak acts go through and then some opera acts. We started to beg for the commercials!!!!!! Oh please, a Pepto Bismol commercial for relief!!!

Then, a real talent, Mia Bistron, a 15 year old that could wale and play the piano came on. She wowed us!!! Finally!!! Somebody that really does have talent!!

They later eliminated her in favor of the oh-so-cute children acts that could only moderately perform going after the audience for the child sympathy vote. How sad!!

The army guy comes on for a few more exploitations of last week’s performance to self-promote America’s Got Talent at the expense of America’s veterans just a  bit more. They voted the guy through even though he stopped midway through his performance because he forgot the lyrics!!!  I can’t even remember a whole song, but I am worth a million bucks?  In the famous words of Homer Simpson, “D’oh”.

If you saved yourself the two hours and watched anything else, including even a ten year old “Murder She Wrote” you already saw ten times, it was better than this pathetic show. They have no one even close to Terry Fator this year, or they are concealing it showing filler to wait until the finales to surprise us. Our advice? Move on until the final. The lead up to the finals is just there to challenge your intelligence, and this show should go off the air after this season. It has just gotten stupid compared to all our other favorite reality shows, and has moved off the list. We will not review the shows anymore past this year’s final unless something dramatic happens, like they change the judges or actually find some talent.

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7/29 Season 3 Recap: Dan Quayle Does America’s Got Talent!!

Tonight’s America’s Got Talent had HUGE potential. They decided to turn to the internet for their talent by searching for their performers on Myspace.com. We know that sounds like a shameless promo of a web site, but none of us are above that are we? ;-). This was the last audition show of the year folks, so we opined this should be their best!!!  (PLEASE MAKE SURE TO CAST YOUR BALLOTS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS ARTICLE!!)

For sure, this should be a great show. We have found so much great talent on the web. Most recently, a favorite of ours that made it into the spot light was Arnel Pineda, the new lead singer for Journey! Discovered on the internet, this singer from the Philippines is now a star performer in an internationally famous rock band!!!

So, if you screened this talent first on the web, most of it that made the actual show should be great. We don’t stare at videos on YouTube because they stink, right? Certainly, America’s Got Talent would take the time to make sure we didn’t have to stare at horrible videos on television, so the cream of the crop should be on this show. We grabbed our popcorn and settled in.

So, did it live up to expectations? Let’s begin:

They always start this show with the obligatory freak acts no matter where they find their talent.

First Act: Michael Trixx (are for kids), a magician. Well, what is our rule? If he looks like a freak… Well, Michael looked like a freak. He started with some cheap tricks from a kid’s magic kit, and by the end, after getting unanimously buzzed off, made us think that the plastic dog poop in a novelty shop would have been vastly more entertaining.

After several more freak acts, they should have been able to find some real talent on myspace and not continue the Jerry Springer show. Right?

On comes Eloy Rendon, who opens with a clever crazy accent and has everyone believing he is not an American. He looked normal, so this was no obvious freak show. He then announces in a totally American accent that he is a motivational speaker. He wasn’t. Buzz, buzz, buzz. Well, our guess is that if he didn’t motivate anyone on the show, he likely wasn’t doing much motivating on Myspace either.

OK, now we are starting to feel like we have been had. All these horrible acts and we haven’t found any internet talent despite the fact they could have screened these people in advance? Well, at least the next act was interesting.

A cluck-off champion!!! That’s right folks. This guy won a championship competition imitating a chicken. No, he didn’t get voted through, but he was the best talent so far by a long shot.

Next…David Deeble. His talent? Being a “FREAK”. He introduced his act as saying he was going to do “fireworks in his pants”. He got summarily buzzed before his first fart.

Now we are thinking, “This is all getting old right?” Any work at all by the scouts on this program and you could have found major talent. We find it every day on YouTube and Myspace. So Suzy Trunquist boards the stage, and what do we see? “FREAK”. Sure enough, what is the rule? If they look like a freak…. Gad, her singing sounded like Big Foot in the throws of death.

By this point, we have to figure that this show is trying to imply that the internet crowd is stupid. We can find garbage on the internet anytime; we don’t need national television to bring it to us. And most of these weren’t even funny freaks, just pathetic ones.

So they finally throw us a curve…an Ozzy Osbourne impersonator.  We looked at each other and thought,  “Gee, that has never been done before, especially not in front of Sharon. Right?” So freakin’ original. But this guy was actually pretty good. He managed to take Ozzy’s greatest hit of all time and get the audience into it. He got voted through, but we all know, no one could take more than ten minutes of this guy, even if she was married to him. Sharon?

As they cut to commercial, they showed Jerry Springer, and his image said it all. FREAK SHOW!!! It is amazing there weren’t bouncers on the stage trying to hold two bad acts apart as they tried to kill each other for cheating on their wives with transsexuals. Then Jerry could tell us all how stupid Americans are in his wonderful misogynistic way. Love you Jerry.

Now was time for a truly touching story and the only worthwhile segment so far. A mother that, through Myspace, found the daughter she had to give up for adoption years before. This was truly touching, but it was almost like the show was taking credit for it. Fortunately, this woman could wale. Holly Stone surprised us with her voice and got a Standing O. She was voted through and we are looking forward to her next performance!!!

Then it was time for the “Dan Quayle” comment of the night, and it had to come from a man that talks to cars, David Hasselhoff. His infamous quote? “Only in America could this woman have found her daughter on Myspace”. This after Jerry told us at the beginning of the show that the internet was a world-wide phenomenon.  Apparently, according to David, only Americans are smart enough to actually use the internet. Holly was great. David gets three buzzes.

Next was a percussion-rock ensemble that played on plastic buckets. So, our first reaction was, OK, can a group of young men doing what we have seen being done in front of subway stations dozens of times make it to the finale? You know, they were actually quite good, but they were no “Blue Man Group”. Piers was the only one that got it right “I like the energy, but you need backup.” Everyone agreed, but only Sharon was smart enough to know that plastic buckets ain’t worth a million bucks, so they got voted through to Vegas. Fortunately, the buckets don’t weigh much, so they shouldn’t have to pay extra for their luggage.

OK, now for our least favorite part of the show, where they whip through talented act after talented act and we barely get to see any of them perform. We hope we get their names right, but the show whipped through these talented acts so fast, we barely had time to see the acts themselves, let alone get the names.

A magician, Shamski, that took out the midsection of his beautiful assistant!! He shocked us with his talent…for all of five seconds. Great, we get tons of freaks, and five seconds of real talent.

Next, The Leasoll brothers, a gymnastic juggling act that seemed quite good, for five seconds and voted through.

Then a performer (sorry we missed his name) that did excellent impersonations…we think. He wasn’t on long enough for us to figure out whom he was impersonating. Voted through and got a standing O, but we as the TV audience didn’t get to see him.

Finally, Kazual, a very talented quartet got to sing for us for all of five seconds. Another great act displaced by stupid freak acts not worth the time in a subway station.

It was finally time for something that had great potential. They introduced “The Tapping Dad’s.” This was a group of fathers aged 32-56 that filled the stage with tap dancing talent and had great promise. The act started and we got to see…five seconds before they were voted through. The camera spent twice as much time on Hasselhoff telling them they made their kids proud. David, if you want their kids to be proud, maybe you should have shown the act instead of your puss, or at the very least cut to Pamela Anderson!!

Well, maybe the talent yet to come was the reason they ran out of time, or so we hoped. They followed with a cameo on a mother/daughter team that called themselves the “Sweet Tones”. The mother was going for the elderly sympathy vote at 80 years of age, but all they did was whistle. OK, you can’t even let grandma through for just a whistle, and the judges got it right. Unfortunately, they wasted minutes of air time on this untalented duo, once again proving that the people that choreographed this show likely couldn’t generate a single decent Youtube video.

Now it was the time for the final insult to the audience. It wasn’t that the next talent, Specialist Dane Jens, was untalented or a freak. He is a dashing soldier that just got back from 15 months of duty in Iraq. We respect his efforts and those of all our soldiers in Iraq, but we hate to see a show use it to their own advantage. They made a ten minute promotion piece for America’s Got Talent exploiting his slightly above average performance and his wife’s tears for all they were worth. This was obviously completely staged for TV. They tried to make it look like Piers would send the man home. They played Lassie-style music to make us all feel so sad, so we wanted the hero to win and go on.

Piers then asks the man if his wife was there. She has been back stage chatting with Jerry for five minutes while watching her husband perform, but Piers expects us all to believe he doesn’t know she is there? Please!!! Could you question the audience’s intelligence any more? She came on, delivered her few obligatory tears, and off they went, on their way to Vegas.

The set wasted a full 1/6 of the show (more if you count the commercials) on this shameless self-promotion, and they expected the audience to just play along like a flock of sheep.

OK, now we love “America’s Got Talent”.  They have brought it when it comes to great discoveries like Terry Fator.  We think it is a fantastic show and watch every show religiously.

This fortunately is NOT, “what this show is all about”.  This particular segment was a sadly choreographed joke that they will hopefully fix before they get to the finals. Overall, it got two buzzers from us, but we unfortunately did not have a third, so they got to finish their act.  Hopefully, you will let them know what you think in our surveys below…


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7/22 Season 3 Recap: Terry Fator Gets 100 million Dollars!

Terry Fator from Last Year Got 100 Million Dollars? America rewards talent!!!

America’s Got Talent is a difficult show to review. (PLEASE MAKE SURE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS ARTICLE!!!) First of all, it is all up to the judges during the interview sessions, so we don’t get to vote. But we can express our opinions, and the show is nothing if it isn’t entertaining. They started in New York.

Our experience with this show, and almost all reality shows, has been…if the performers look like clowns or freaks, they almost always are. Well, this show was no exception.

The first act entered, and the first reaction we had was “Freak!!” Perry Zanett came in dressed as a king and performed Shakespeare. He was summarily buzzed in seconds. Piers’ comment, “You were a complete waste of space and I’d like you to go”. Our observation, he dressed like a king, but he just played the fool. His exiting comment was funny though. He said it was laughable to get buzzed by a thespian like David Hasselhoff. Wow, the guy must at least have a dictionary.

The next two acts were silly. The first, a rolling cube summarily buzzed that Piers said “…was fun for ten seconds if you have the mentality of a 2 year old”. But it was an improvement over Perry. Another act was a sad attempt at singing and dancing. The audience booed and called for elimination. They got their wish and this wasn’t even worth talking about.

Next, a group called the Power Team that ran through burning wood and charged through solid ice didn’t make it. Piers said it all, “You’re all completely bonkers, aren’t you?”

How could you keep the bad acts coming? But they did. A stageful of people in theatrical outfits moving about randomly to what sounded like a marching band. Buzz, buzz, buzz!!!

Darn, couldn’t they get to a real act? Finally, they did, a shadow puppeteer, believe it or not. The shadows he made were totally recognizable and were quite entertaining, from John Kennedy to the Pope. Fun stuff, voted through to Vegas, but hard to imagine as a winning act.

XL was up next, a young black singer that was quite superb. The audience got into it, and the judges voted him through after singing a masterful piece. But we couldn’t help but think they should have sent him off to American Idol; he doesn’t belong here.

Now we were off to LA.

First up, a group of cheerleaders dressed in mini-skirts. Of course, that won over Hasselhoff before they moved an inch. They got voted through, but they were little more than cheerleaders that kicked Rockettes style.

Now it was time for the weekly obligatory child act. Can’t get through one of these shows without at least one. This was a 10 year old break dancer titled “Shaker”. You know, he would be cute in a street act, and he got the expected child vote. He was far from a prize act, but at least this will give the kid a chance to see Vegas.

The show moved through a bunch of winning acts we were not allowed to see, which we hate, because the show wasted at least a half an hour at the beginning on freak shows. The audience wants to see the winners not freaks! One or two freaks for a chuckle is fine, but it is a shame to not expose some of the winning acts in favor of total jokes.

So did they stop with the freaks? Not a chance. Another guy steps in named Ronn B? First reaction, he looked like a joker…and what is the rule? He was. He broke into a total sham of dance and song. The dancing was pathetic and spastic and the singing horrific. David buzzed him, but the others let him finish. David exclaimed, “This is a talent show, not a freak show!”. Right David, then what was the first half an hour of this show all about? It was all freaks. But Piers and Sharon voted the joker through to Vegas in their seasonal tease of David. What a waste!

Next was a ventriloquist. It is very hard to follow Terry Fator, the winner from last year, who has now signed a 100 million dollar contract for his new show in Las Vegas!!!! We didn’t expect much of Michael Harrison, but he brought up a volunteer and had him play a puppet. He had a real puppet on one hand and the volunteer on the other, and the interaction he portrayed was hysterically funny. He is no Terry Fator, and it is difficult to see him winning, but he was quite good relative to the other talent so far, so he deserved to get through.

Well, they say, “It ain’t over until the ‘fat’ lady sings”, and this show would be no exception. A singer named Emily Davis took the stage. We were relieved to find out she was going to sing and not attempt anything crazy. Well, this lady did sing, and she was good…great in fact. Piers said at the end that she had a “great chance” of winning it all. Hasselhoff and Sharon agreed. Now, I know, you will guess that we would be upset to see another singer get through, but this wasn’t a child sympathy act, and this woman could never have made American Idol at her age. So, we welcome her after she brought the audience to their feet and wowed us with her voice. Talented this woman is. And, “that is what this show is all about!”

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America’s Got Talent RoundUp

Created by Simon Cowell, Ken Warwick, Cécile Frot-Coutaz, Jason Raff

Presented by Jerry Springer (2007-Present), Regis Philbin(2006)

Judges Piers Morgan, David Hasselhoff, Brandy Norwood (2006), Sharon Osbourne (2007-Present)

Running time
Varies

Original channel
NBC

Original run June 21, 2006 – present

W hile America’s Got Talent is entertaining, the judges rate very low on the scale of reality show judges. Their quips are predictable, constantly repeated, and the most creative thing they contribute during a performance is the press of the buzzer during an annoying or bad performance.  If you don’t hear Hasselhoff say, “That is what this show is all about!” at least once a week, you probably missed a week.

What really makes this show entertaining are the exceptional off-beat acts we could never see anywhere. A cowboy that can lasso the audience, a magic act that dazzles like Married Magic act David and Dania that change costumes right in front of your eyes Or perhaps an Elvis impersonator that is so original and talented you would swear he may be better than Elvis himself. It would, however, be much better to stick to that theme and not make this just another place for American Idol wannabes or rejects to get another chance, so it would be better for the show to cut most singers out of the competition rather than allow every one that has even a decent voice to get to the finals. The other sickening thing about the show is the elderly and kid factor. Any kid that can sing decently or any elderly person gets special treatment, wasting spaces for real talent.

The camera work on the show is horrible. When we are watching a performance, we want to judge it ourselves. But the America’s Got Talent cameras are all over the stage, on the audience and on the judges’ faces during the middle of critical parts of many performances. The television audience doesn’t need to see Hasselhoff’s face ten times during a dance routine. And they really don’t care about his reaction until the end, if they care at all. The live audience isn’t watching his face, they are watching the performance. Why do we have to see Pierce’s ugly puss (the straight-faced British judge that is a Simon Cowell wanna be) in the middle of a potentially prize winning act? We see him enough before and after.

America's Got Talent

All that said, this is a majorly entertaining show with some of the most amazing and unique acts ever seen on television. Who can resist seeing twenty dancers all clog in step on a Las Vegas stage? Or perhaps a magician that you have never seen that stuns the audience. Or last year’s amazing victor, Terry Fator, a puppeteer of unmatched talent and an unparalleled master ventriloquist.

This show rates number 3 on our list of favorite reality shows. If they fixed the camera problem and got rid of the “too many singers” problems, it may even make it to number 2.