10/1 America’s Got Talent Finally: The Winner Unveiled!

What do we care about in a winner takes all finale? Who won!! What do we get? Usually not much else, but we have to get through the hour to find out who the grand champion is.

There was way too much Jerry and some rather boring performances except for the Leona Lewis “Better in Time” act.

Jerry made the insight “everybody wants their favorite to win”. Well, Jerry, we didn’t think they wanted their favorite to lose. We will tell you, you aren’t our favorite.

Time for the one at a time elimination, let’s see how we did…

First out: Queen Emily

Clearly the least talented.

Second To Depart: Donald Braswell

Looks like he bored the audience too.

Well, we have to say that so far we are right on for what we expected. Could it continue? Not quite.

Third to go… Nuttin But Stringz

No idea what people were thinkin’. These guys were 1 or 2, but they didn’t get to the final 2? Still, not too shabby for the final pick of the night.

Second Place?? Eli Mattson

Won’t matter, we know who we will be listening to on CD in the next year, and it won’t be Neil.

First Place! Neil E. Boyd!!

We don’t totally believe that America voted for an Opera Singer. And we know people would not pay to see an Opera Singer by himself in Vegas. So, we have no clue what this finale was all about.

Still, Neil is good and we hope next year, we have fewer singers in the finale.

9/24 America’s Got Talent Finals, So Hard to Choose!

Tonight, AGT was better than usual thanks to President Bush. AGT compacted the show and reduced the commercial count because the President had used up a ton of time to tell us how badly the economy is doing and how they want a scant 700 billion bucks to save the day. How did it happen? We don’t know, but we aren’t thinking too many people would vote for Bush in this competition.

We were grateful for the result though. AGT was short, compact, tight, quick and entertaining. Normally it would have been so drawn out, and it was so much better with the judges being quick and Jerry talking much less, awesome.

Now the acts.

Nuttin But Stringz (8/10)

As usual, very dynamic with tons of energy, and, with help, the only act that could do a Vegas performance someone might pay for long term. The audience loved it. The judges stood for the ovation. An amazing performance after which it took a while to calm the audience. Their biggest problem. They went first. That is a very tough slot to win when the voters can’t vote until the end of the show. We didn’t give them the highest score because they are depending more and more on hired hands. Other dancers and performers to enhance their performance. We suppose that is normal for Vegas, but for us it cheapens the act.

Donald Braswell (6/10)

“You Raise Me Up” after I have fallen asleep listening to you. Donald sings “nice”, We could see him doing the national anthem nationwide, I could see him doing Broadway, We could see him doing anything but a concert weekly in Vegas that anyone would want to see. Sorry Donald. You sing great. Honest. But the judges even looked asleep at the end.

Neil E. Boyd (8/10)

They cleared the stage for Neil. They had to because he wouldn’t fit on one stage otherwise. But the adjustment was something they would have to do for Queen Emily anyway. Neil has a hamburger eating competition next week if this doesn’t work out. He listened to the judges and did some incredibly boring opera. And you know, maybe if someone is looking for a real huge man to sing Opera, he will do fine. He has a quality voice and could perform in Opera just about anywhere, but he could not have his own show on Vegas. Maybe a permanent Opera show though, something that centered on him but was a much bigger show. That could work. But we are not sure enough America will recognize it, and they would need a massive stage to hold him and anyone else.

Eli Mattson (9/10)

Time for some Phil Collins, “Against All Odds”. Eli had a problem with tonight’s song, which has to do with a disappearing voice at the beginning and end of verses. We think it could be just be a proper microphone adjustment because of his style. Eli has a lot of inflection in his voice that leads to soft and louder moments that are part of his technique. But the microphone cannot be set flat or it doesn’t pick up his voice on the softer moments. Eli was great, but has one major problem; he is no Vegas act. So, what do you vote for? Talent or Vegas?

Queen Emily (6/10)

We said when we originally saw her, “It ain’t over until the fat lady sings”. Well, they are once again going to have Emily sing last. An advantage clearly, but so far, we haven’t thought much of her talent since her first week. She had a chance to choose a killer song, and chose a boring one. “One Moment In Time” is a classic, but it is boring and has to be driven by an incredible voice. Emily doesn’t have it. Back to donuts.

Here is our selection:

Eli was once again better than anyone on the stage. He needs a quality microphone, but overall, no one touches his creativity and talent.

A dark horse is Nuttin But Stringz, but they went first and by the end, America may forget to vote for them. We think they are the only unique act left so deserve the votes to at least be close with Eli even if they don’t win.

Neil was great, and if you could picture a long running Opera show on Vegas, Neil could pull it off as the center of that show, but it would have to be a large show. Very large.

Eli and Nuttin But Stringz are so close that it could go either way. We will leave it for you to pick.

[poll id=”51″]

9/18 America’s Got Talent Results Final Five, The Kids Go Home


  1. Nuttin But Stringz
  2. Queen Emily
  3. Neil E. Boyd
  4. Donald Braswell
  5. Eli Mattson


There you have it, the final five. Bear in mind that not one of these talents is a long term nightly Vegas act except maybe Nuttin But Stringz with a bunch of help. Four out of the five are singers. Dull. This is now, other than NBS, just a singing contest. Sad really with the variety of talents they had on this show, and another reason why we think they should not have singers on the show or at least limit them somehow. This is going to be an amateur American Idol.

But at least the folks that were eliminated this week pretty much made sense, especially the child acts. They weren’t good last night and it would have been a shame to keep them and, Jessica really had to go.

All that said, here is our expected order of the talent

1. Eli Mattson

2. Nuttin But Stringz

3. Neil E. Boyd

4. Queen Emily

5. Donald Braswell

We expect Eli or NBS to win. We think Queen Emily does not belong on the list, but Donald is boring, so he may not as well. But it doesn’t matter, there is one winner, our money is on Eli.



9/17 America’s Got Talent: The Cream Rises To The Top

You could have missed the first 15 minutes and missed nothing.

1.      Paul Salos led off. He did New York, New York.  He fouled up some parts.  He really didn’t sound totally like Frank, but he was pretty good.  Then he forgot the words, and had a reasonable finish, but nothing fantastic.  Piers actually buzzed him.

2.      Kaitlyn Maher was next, and she appeared, with commercials and filler, 8 full minutes after Paul.  Bearing in mind these are two minute acts, that says what this show really is.  It has become America’s got Ads.  At Any rate, Kaitlyn did Call My Name (I’ll Be There), was real cute, her voice was cracking, she was really not good at all.  But she has the cute going.  If cute is worth a million bucks, she is worth a million.  Talent-wise, not much.  Other than Piers, they all pandered to her.  We thought *TGFFF.

3. It was a full 7 minutes from the time the judges shut up until Donald Braswell came on. He did his usual show tune style music, Broadway style.  We would tell you how well he did, but we fell asleep, but we knew we would have plenty of time for a nap given the 7 minute gap between the acts.  He was done in 2 minutes.  He has a strong voice and could do a Broadway show.  He is just so boring.

4. This time, with filler and fluff, it was again 7 minutes before Jessica Price took the stage. She still sounds like a frightened little mouse when she sings.  The song is nice, and she has it going OK, but she wouldn’t get to the final 20 in Idol.  She had the chorus down nice, and she has a very sexy appeal so someone could make her popular, but it couldn never be purely based on her voice.  And she would have to cut a CD first of studio promoted music before anyone would pay to see her on stage.

5. The time, between the commercials, fluff and the next act was, you guessed it, 7 minutes.  Joseph Hall started rising in smoke and sang “Satisfy Me”, by, who else, Elvis.  He actually had the Elvis act down better this week.  He had the stage moves down and seemed comfortable performing them.  As before, though, when he hits the real hard notes, he ain’t Elvis, but he is entertaining and the ladies are crazed about him.

6. 7 more minutes… Neil E. Boyd began.  He did “All By Myself”.  Going for the powerful chorus, but the slow parts were a bit harsh to listen to.  The chorus did not show off his powerful voice as well as it could, but he did take the opportunity to hit a few power notes and had a strong finale.  We like him, but find him boring like Donald Braswell.  But we are pulling for him because he really could use the money for donuts.

7. 8 minutes of commercials and fluff to the Wright Kids.  The kids started with another kids tune.  “ABC”.   Lead was flat for the first verse.  Chorus OK, but clearly not Jackson Five Quality.  The performance had no energyand was very boring.  Poorly done.  We thought they had it going last week.  They lost it this week, and it was not the time to lose it.

8. They only got to 6 minutes wasted before they brought on Queen Emily.  We were impressed.  With the gap, not Emily, only 6 minutes, wow!!  She sang “You’re Going To Love Me”.  She pushed it and was driving a bit too hard, yelling at times.  We know the lady can wale, and she was better than she was last week, but she is not at the same level of talent as the women she imitates and she was trying too hard.  We think she is entertaining, but wouldn’t pay to see her.  Still, she will likely make the top 5 given the screw up eliminations from last week.

9. Six more minutes and it was time for Nuttin But Stringz.  We really like this duo, and we were expecting them to deliver huge. They started off with a marching drum sort of group to build things up.  We still cannot place what it is that is entertaining about them.  They did have to bring in more fluff like gals hanging from scarfs and swinging from the rafters, but that is typical Vegas stuff.  By the time they were done, these guys had their bow strings all shredded.  We did not like them as much as last week, but we liked them  bunch none the less.

10. Seven minutes to Eli Mattson.  He did an Elton Song “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”.  He should be a cinch for the final, but he needs to bring it big next week.  This week he was a tad on the boring side.

Our conclusion.

If you do not have a DVR and you like this show, get one.  We watched a two hour show that had 20 minutes of performance in it.  That left 1 hour and fourty minutes of filler, most of it painful commercials and fluff of approximately 7 minutes between each act.  TGFFF is worth every penny, even if you just get to skip Jerry.

Our contestant order and scores:

1. Eli Mattson (8/10)
2. Nuttin But Stringz (8/10)
3. Neil E. Boyd (8/10)
4. Queen Emily (7/10)
5. Joseph Hall (7/10)
6. Paul Salos (7/10)
7. Donald Braswell (7/10)
8. Jessica Price (6/10)
9. Wright Kids (6/10)
10. Kaitlyn Maher (6/10)

Our definite eliminations this week are the child acts.  This week, for them to get to the finals, they would have to get major child sympathy.  Neither act was good.

Jessica should not be here and lucked out last week getting cast on the first night when the talent was so very weak.  She is pretty, but she is just really not that good.  Maybe she could be better in a studio and with singing training.  She doesn’t have a horrible voice, but she isn’t at Eli’s, Neil’s or even Emily’s level.  But she has a look that could be played up if she found her niche.  Maybe she could even step into Idol after a year of singing lessons.

Our definite winners this week are Eli Mattson, Nuttin But Stringz and Neil E. Boyd.  All performed up to par and all deserve a berth in the finals, even though we think none could do an hour long Vegas act day after day.

The most talented of the remaining three is Donald Braswell.  He could do Broadway, but he is a tad old for that and we wouldn’t pay to see just him sing.  Joseph Hall does a mean Elvis, but he doesn’t sing extremely well.  But man oh man does he get the girls going.  Paul Salos does a pretty good impersonation of Frank.  And we could picture him as a background act in Vegas.  It is a shame they displaced such great talent last week due to the poor format, or we wouldn’t have such a poor group of finalists to choose from.

Hmmm.  We are going to cop out and let you choose.  Vote for your favorite among our bottom three.

1. Paul Salos
2. Joseph Hall
3. Donald Braswell
4. Other (you think one of our eliminations belongs in the finals)

See you tomorrow night!

*TGFFF- Thank gad for fast forward



9/11 America’s Got Talent Results. Poor Format Yields Poor Results. An Incredible Finale Blown.

One of our readers pointed out something we did not get from the explanation of how they were doing the votes tonight on the ten finalists.  There were 20 total acts, and we thought and felt that a total vote competition was appropriate.  To not allow the acts from each night to compete against each other introduces a completely random selection into the mix.  An unfair flip of the coin, not chosen by the audience or the judges.

But our reader was right.  Five were selected from the first night and five from the second.  And the second night’s talent was vastly better, so it ruined a chance at a spectacular finale integrating mediocre talent from the first night.

There were two truly sad events on the show . Sharon voted for Daniel Jens to go into the top 10.  Sharon then followed up by not even remembering the name of Jonathan Burkin, referring to him as “Baton Boy”!!  This convinces us even more that the judges are useless and those that plan the show are pathetic.

Out of our top 4, 3 were selected.  But this was primarily because of the ill-conceived format not allowing the second night’s talent to compete with the first.  Jonathan Burkin was fantastic and better than anyone that performed the first night.  But he got eliminated because of the flip of a coin.

Sarah Lenore was fantastic.  She could compete on Idol.  Eli is better, but the selections from the first night that displaced Sarah were a joke.  Fat Lady (Emily) doesn’t hold a candle to Sarah.  Paul Salos?  Please.  Donald Braswell?  We are sleeping already.  Sarah blows them away, and we hope she shows up on Idol and makes fools out of the people that run this show.  The fact that Jessica Price is in the final 10 and Daniel Jens got within one vote of the top 10 while Sarah was sent packing demonstrates even more, this show is just way too random.

All three of our dark horses were picked.  Paul Salos, who we thought was better this week than last, but he wouldn’t have made it if he performed the second night.  Donald Braswell made it and that is sad as well.  He is a niche performer.  We would not pay to see him other than as part of a much broader show.   He is a snoozer, sorry to say.  And the child sympathy act got through.  Kaitlyn is super cute, but to even compare her to some of the talents eliminated in her favor is an insult to intelligence.

We were Wright on the Wright Kids.  And we thought the vote against Extreme Dance FX sad.

We agreed with Joseph Hall for the top 10 as well.

So where does that leave us?  We have three entries in the top ten that just plain to not belong there and do not have a prayer.  But at least they got rid of Jens.  Finally!!

The three mistakes:

1. Kaitlyn Maher – We said we would not be disappointed with Kaitlyn being in the top ten, but when we actually saw the talent discarded in her favor, we realized we were wrong.  She could not sustain an act in Vegas and the judges and audience know it.  This was all about child sympathy.
2. Paul Salos – Paul actually could carry a long act doing his show imitating Sinatra in Vegas, but no one would pay good money for it.  He could do an act in front of the slot machines, but talent-wise he doesn’t even qualify as a puppet for Terry Fator.  This was the elderly sympathy vote combined with random luck he got to go on the first night when the talent was weakest.
3. Queen Emily – The fat lady can sing.  She can’t win.  We wouldn’t pay to see her sing one song, let alone a show on Vegas.  She was a poor choice.

America didn’t really blow this.  America’s Got Talent is primarily to blame with this lame format and incredibly poor choices for each night, clearly placing the weaker talent on the first night.

In fact, though, this pointed out something random about the entire show.  The choice of talents for each week can result in incredibly unfair comparisons and eliminations.  We have a couple of suggestions.

1. Get rid of Jerry
2. Get rid of the judges
3. Have an overall elimination competition more like Idol that allows everyone to compete for America’s votes.

We think that the random choice of talent from night to night deprives America of the best competition.

We think Eli wins anyway barring elderly and child sympathy votes, but those have been particularly strong this year so you never know.  America is gullible when it comes to these acts and the show panders to them.

So let’s order the TOP 10 talents so far (bearing in mind this is before their final performances).

1. Eli Mattson
2. Nuttin But Stringz
3. Neil E. Boyd
4. The Wright Kids
5. Joseph Hall
6. Jessica Price
7. Paul Salos
8. Donald Braswell
9. Kaitlyn Maher
10. Queen Emily

However, we are a bit confused.  The judges often infer that the reason for choosing a talent to move on is whether they can “sustain” an act on Vegas that lasts over an hour.

But it seems like really, we are voting for talent, not Vegas.  Eli, for example, is hugely talented, but that doesn’t make him a long term Vegas act.  There just aren’t too many of those, and those that do Vegas regularly are older names like Frankie Vallie or Sinatra before he passed away.  Pearl Jam or Marc Cohn may show up on occasion, but they aren’t there every night.  It just doesn’t seem practical to consider a singer for such an act.

That said, that rules out Emily, Jessica, Donald and Neil, none of which are as talented as Eli and none of which, we feel would   And Kaitlyn is cute, but she could never sustain a Vegas Act long term.  She could be part of one, but not THE act.

Nuttin but Strings we think could, but would need a huge amount of choreography work and vastly more diversity than they currently have.  They are hugely talented and great to watch, but for over an hour every day on Vegas?

The Wright Kids could pull it off for a while.  But we think that America would tire of it quickly.  Again, they are more of a touring show than a fixture in Vegas.  We would like to see them at a local show perhaps, but we are not interested when in Vegas in paying to see them.

One thing there are a bunch of in Vegas in lasting acts are niche performers.  Female imitators, comedians, magicians, etc.  Paul Salos and Joseph Hall come to mind.  We don’t think people would pay to see Paul, but he could sustain a more minor act after the initial hooplah was over.  SImilarly, Joseph, with good choreography and some more practice could be a huge draw of young girls, at least for a while.  And Elvis impersonators are not uncommon at all in Vegas.

So now we have a conundrum.  Do we vote for the best talent or the act we think could survive in Vegas the longest?  If the former, the list above makes up our choices.  But if the latter, we would have to consider two of the less talented stars as the winner.    Is it “America’s Got Talent” or “Choose the Vegas Star”?

The polls below first appeared on this article and is still open for voting.

[poll id=”38″][poll id=”39″]

9/10 Review & Prediction: America’s Got Talent!! Be Your Own Judge!

The show started with the greatest new act we have seen period. Terry Fator!! He brought on our favorite turtle to sing for Sharon. Winston did a great Marvin Gaye tune. No one knows how Terry does this. He sings better than some we have seen on American Idol, without moving his lips and through a puppet.

Terry then brought out Maynard Thomkins, an Elvis impersonator which was specifically related to the later talent, Joseph Hall, that actually does his own Elvis impersonation. You know, Terry can do anybody. He can impersonate Frank, Elvis, even the great Roy Orbison and have you feeling his puppet is an awesome singer. We may be able to eliminate all other acts on this show and just make them into Terry Fator puppets. Great performance Terry. 100 million bucks? It wasn’t enough.

No we would like to explain our title. You should be your own judge on this show because the judges are all useless. Piers is a pompous Simon Cowell wannabe that should just be discarded as the buffoon he truly is. Sharon has an edge, but brings little to the show. And Hasselhoff should go back to talking to cars. Jerry, most of all, is a waste of air time. So, you can save huge amounts of time watching the acts without listening to the judges at all. And the show is infinitely better!! Be your own judge.

Act 1: Sick Step (8/10)

When we were in Boston this past week-end we saw some break dancers at Quincy Market. They were all pretty good, and it was fun, but you can see the difference with Sick Step. They are pros, well choreographed and fun. The synchronization was great and each dancer seems to bring a strength. None are just filler. They are as good as some of the So You Think you can Dance Breakers, and we genuinely love them.

Act 2: Donald Braswell (7/10)

OK, this guy can sing huge. His voice is spectacular, but what comes to mind as he performs is his name should be Donald Boresustohell. The music is totally yesterday. But he has a niche. He could perform on Broadway or in a Broadway show and kill it. He did a Phantom of the Opera song and it was spectacular. We just find him boring and think America will as well, fake tan or no.

Act 3: Joseph Hall (8/10)

Joseph is an Elvis impersonator. In this show, he had some classic Elvis style and moves. He also had the song down fairly well, Suspicious Minds. But he doesn’t have the voice on the power notes. But he has every girl in the audience standing or on their knees screaming for him.

His tan actually looks real and his chest shaved. He gets a point just for his looks. Women will love this guy and he is a draw. But in comparison to Maynard Thomkins, we don’t think he is that much better talent wise. Tough call.

Act 4: Taubl Family (6/10)

New Title, the In Trouble Family. The women came on and sang. The lead was good, but the harmonies were awful early. As the boys came in, they were strong again, and the boys were the stars last week that pulled it off for them, but you know what? They lost. Next.

Act 5: Sarah Lenore (8/10)

This gal belongs on Idol. She has the talent and look to pull it off. She may not win, but she could give most Idol’s a run for their money. She chose a ridiculously popular song to sing. She chose “Bleeding Love”, by Leona Lewis. And as we mentioned last night, that gets you compared to the original, and that makes it real tough to judge. But we loved it. She made it her own, put on a “live” performance of the song and was fantastic. Sara is beautiful and a hot performer. She can definitely be a star.

Act 6: Nuttin But Stringz (9/10)

OK, you just have to see these guys. They are great. It seems simple. A couple of violins and some dance moves and overall, it just seems like a losing act. Then you watch it, and you take them to the top. They draw you in and up. We have no idea what it is. We have heard better violin. We have seen better dancing. We have seen better choreography. We haven’t seen a better act (except Terry).

Act 7: Kaitlyn Maher (7/10)

This act is difficult for us, and we are sure it is difficult for America. The girl is incredibly cute, but that isn’t a reason to vote for her; well it is, but it would have to be purely for child sympathy. But Kaitlyn has something else. She is 4 and remembers every word of difficult songs. She walks and waves in this way that is so cute you know it is practiced, and she pulls it off wonderfully. Even more stunning is she hits every verse with perfect timing. This is something many professionals fail at. Her only failure is also in her youth. We cannot compare her talent to that of adults. If this was America’s Got Talent for Children, she would win. But how can we give her the same ranking as someone like Sarah Lenore? We just can’t. We are not sure if America will, but we wouldn’t feel too bad if she made the finals.

Act 8: Tapping Dads (8/10)

Wow, these guys really brought it tonight. Great choreography, fantastic showmanship. We could see them on Vegas. They know who the star is, and they know how to play off him. Their synchronization, perfect. We raised them a point watching them again. We had them going home this week, but now we are not so sure. They hit it and they deserve a berth in the finals, but so do so many others!!

Act 9: Eli Mattson (9/10)

Eli had a couple of mild intonation problems at the beginning, but the piano was great and he killed the verse. He picked a very difficult song by Alicia Keys. “If I Ain’t Got You”.

We liked his version better. He loses one point because he belongs on Idol. But then again, his piano is killer so maybe his diversity says he belongs here. Eli will have a CD out soon, we can feel it.

Some people want it all Eli. Some people just have it all. Congrats guy.

Act 10: Jonathan Burkin (9/10)

Baton Twirler Wizard. (Performed to “Pinball Wizard”). Jonathan brings together a world of talent. At first you see a guy twirling batons, and you think it is kind of corny, but really, as you watch it closely, you get it. The guy is a massively talented juggler; he just uses batons. He is a gymnast, executing flips and complicated dance moves with aplomb while juggling. And the guy is a major showman, but he does it in jeans and a T-Shirt! Jonathan is a finalist. Period. If he drops the baton once, he is doomed, but he hasn’t yet.

Our picks:

1. Jonathan Burkin
2. Eli Mattson
3. Nuttin But Strings
4. Sarah Lenore
5. Tapping Dads
6. Joseph Hall
7. Sick Stuff

Not again. Another tie breaker. OK, 1-3 are golden. No removing them from the top 10. So who goes from the remaining 4? The acts from last night and tonight will be voted upon together, which confuses things even more. Going back to our review from last night, our only 9/10 act was Neil E Boyd. So, that picks 4/10 from the two nights for us.

1. Jonathan Burkin
2. Eli Mattson
3. Nuttin But Strings
4. Neil Boyd

Leaving 6 more, and we have so many that were so very close. Here are our remaining picks for the top 10.

5. Sarah Lenore
6. Joseph Hall
7. The Wright Kids
8. Extreme Dance FX
9. Tapping Dads
10. Sick Step

Possible Alternates

1. Paul Salos
2. Kaitlyn Maher
3. Donald Braswell

9/09 America’s Got Talent Review & Prediction. Daniel Jens Re-Enlists in Iraq. Bush Praises Him.

So, let’s start with last show.  Don’t we always?

One major complaint.  There are more commercials between each act on this show than there are acts in the entire show.  It is pathetic.  This is a 30 minute show that lasts two hours, and the number of commercials is abusive.

We were right.  5 out of 5 this week.  We hate to blow our own horn, (that is not true, we love to blow our own horn), but we were 4 out of 5 the past two weeks.

Eli Mattson
Nuttin But Stringz
Tapping Dads
Donald Braswell
Kaitlyn Maher

So, now for this week.

We have decided this week we should not comment on the judges at all, or Jerry.  They are just distractions at this point from the talent, and they could be eliminated from the show entirely along with the commercials.

As this show gets closer to the end, the talent gets much harder to judge.  Not only is it usually pretty darned good by this stage in the competition, it is so diverse.  How do you judge a magic act against a singer against a choreographed set of dancers.

We have no idea, but we do our best.  Terry Fator was a standout way above the crowd last season, but we don’t see a specific standout this year, although we do have our favorites.

Lets’ go baby.

1. Cadence (8/10)

We didn’t like Cadence last week.  Their Blue Man Group imitation was cheesy, and their act way too loose versus their initial tight act.  They were all over the stage last week, and instead of focusing on a small set of instruments, they tried to play everything percussion under the sun.  They got voted through, but it wasn’t good and they were not on our list to even make the top 20.

This week…they were tight.  Back to limited instruments; they brought in a real popular rap song.  Sounded like noise early, but then got it together as they focused.  Still a bit too spread out, but we blame that again on the horrible camera men on AGT.  The end was great. They all played in close proximity on plastic buckets.  That is what got these guys started; get away from the bull.  Good show.  Vegas?  Maybe.

2. Queen Emily (6/10)

Too corny of an intro.  She says her whole life has changed, but we don’t think her diet has.

Last week Emily buried herself in the background of the Supremes and we said she had to sing by herself this week to keep on.  She did, but it had no energy.

She sang a slow song.  She sang it nice.  She is going home.

3. The Wright Kids (8/10)

You know, we don’t like kid acts and last week, these kids were kind of flat and karaoke.  So, we weren’t surprised they sang a song focused more on a kid’s voice.  “Rockin’ Robin”.  This song was written specifically for a kid’s voice and they did it much better.  We liked them a bunch.  Lead was still a tad flat.   But fun.

4. James Gang (7/10)

We like this group of guys.  Their Broadway talent is there and the dancing is great, but the singing isn’t there.  So what do you do?  Send them home.  Sorry guys.

5. Daniel Jens (2/10)

The Army asked Dan to re-enlist.  Piers thinks he should.  We do too.  You shouldn’t have gotten this far Daniel.  You stink.  Bye.

6. Zoo-Perstars (8/10)

You know, the judges don’t get this act at all.  It is hysterical fun and total satire.  But when someone does not get satire, you can’t explain it, and Piers is not smart enough to get it.  Oh well.  He didn’t have to for this performance.  We loved it.  We laughed; we cried.  But they needed to take the costumes to something stratospheric.  A Hillary inflatable or something creative, but we were still laughing our heads off.  These guys are great.  A Walrus break dancing on one hand in an inflatable outfit deserves extra points.

7. Neil E. Boyd (9/10)

This guy is a Zoo-perstar.  We mean it.  This guy is so big that he is as large as any of the inflatable Zoo-Perstars, so perhaps he is exactly what that act would need to excel.

While Neil looks like he eats about ten salamis a day, he can sing.  His voice is powerful, you can’t get away from it.   His presence is HUGE!!  Whoops. Sorry.

8. Jessica Price (6/10)

When you perform a song that is the key hit of a star, you get compared to that star.  Colbie Caillat does the song Jessica chose; it is Colbie’s earmark, and it is fantastic to hear live.  Jessica’s guitar was amateur at best.  The lyrics were off tune.  The chills Colbie’s song gives you just weren’t there.  Sorry Jessica.  You are cute.  But that ain’t gonna cut it this week.  Try a coffee shop. Bye.

9. Extreme Dance Fx (8/10)

These guys are fun.  Always have been.  They clog well, the choreography is consistently good.  They were a step above where they were last week.  Great.  We are not sure clogging is where it is at in Vegas, but we couldn’t take our eyes off this act.  They were much stronger this week, and they earned the points.

Here’s a sample of their act from last week’s:

10. Paul Salos (8/10)

It was funny, the judges did not like Paul this week, and we thought he was better.  He did “Come Fly With Me” and he sounded like Frank this week.  Last week he didn’t.  We didn’t give him the elderly pity vote this week.  We think he earned the points.

So, what does that leave at the top?

1. Neil E. Boyd
2. Wright Kids
3. Paul Salos
4. Extreme Dance Fx
5. Zoo-Perstars
6. Cadence

Oh no, we have to have an elimination.  And it isn’t easy.  The bottom of the barrel here is the top of the bottom.  Neil is a shoe-in and easy.  The other five are so close in our minds that we cannot separate them easily.

We have to cut out one, and even though we liked him this week, we don’t think he has an act that will have staying power.  We are going to say goodbye to Paul Salos, with a very close vote with Cadence and the Zoo-Perstars.  We believe all three are so close, any one could be sent packing or continue hacking.

9/03 Season 3: America’s Got Talent Is Decent Again, STOP THE PRESSES!!

W e had one error in last night’s picks. The baton twirler, Jonathan Berkin, got through over Matthew Piazzi. We were real close on those two having them both ranked at 7/10, but decided that impersonations were more likely to make an hour long Vegas act than baton twirling. We also think Jonathan needs to dress up his act. Not the batons, etc. Himself. He needs some pizzazz! But he got voted through.

So once again, we had four out of five.

Winners from Last Night:

1. Jonathan Berkin
2. Sarah Lenore
3. Joseph Hall
4. Taubl Family
5. Sickstep

Now for tonight’s performers:

1. The Dallas Desperados Dancers (5/10)

Just cheerleaders. Buzz by Piers. Then Sharon. Of course Hasselhoff wouldn’t buzz young women in skimpy outfits, but he should have. Lame choreography, bad even for an average high school cheerleader team.

Overall, *TGFFF.

2. Bryan Cheatham (5/10)

Chippendale that thinks he can sing. Super Corny Intro. Sang “You Are My Everything”. Kind of flat in parts. Buzz 1 Piers. Not good. Back to the Jock Strap tips for this guy. Sharon says, “Cut the crap.” To get voted on, he would have to cheat ’em.

3. Flambeaux (5/10)

Fire Eater. Starts off cool. Then drags a bit and gets a buzz by Sharon, then Piers.
Audience booing. Overall, pretty dumb. Three buzzes.

4. Kaitlyn Maher (6/10)

4 year old mostly Child Sympathy Act. “I feel wike a big pwincess”. Sang “What a Wonderful World”. Off key, but majorly cute. So, if you vote for singing and karaoke, she is a 2, if you vote cute, she is a an 8. Audience goes nuts. Judges play up to her pathetically. Even Jerry takes advantage of the schmoozing.

5. Dorae Saunders (3/10)

Cheap Lip Sync Act Female Impersonator trying to look like Tina Turner. More proof that this is just a freak show by bringing on the third transvestite or transexual act in the top 40! We don’t think Kaitlyn was a transvestite, but you never know at her age. So it could be four! He does Disco Inferno. Piers buzzed early, the others didn’t buzz at all. They all should have. Pathetic lip sync. Sharon says she loves her. Oh brother. “Only in America can a transsexual play it live to 20 million people and pull it off”, exclaimed Hasselhoff. Well, David, we are not sure what she was pulling off, but it wasn’t this act. But we are certain she (it) can perform for you and pull it off.

6. Donald Braswell (7/10)

Big Sob Story after getting to come back as the Wild Card. America supposedly picked him, so let’s hear it. “To Dream The Impossible Dream”. Strong voice, good fake tan, we would not pay for him, but he was good and on key. Standing O. But Sharon hit it. The shows like Lawrence Welk aren’t on anymore and they are likely the only forum where Donald would be relevant. We have a job for him, he would make a great puppet for Terry Fator!!

7. Indiggo Twins (4/10)

Cute gals, that do a kinky dance act and sing. Hasselhoff says they are like vampires. We will see if they suck. Buzz right away by Piers. What else is new. Audience is booing within seconds. We know Hasselhoff will never buzz gals in skimpy outfits no matter how bad they are. But Hasselhoff was right about the vampire thing, they suck.

8. Tapping Dads (7/10)

Finally, these guys will get to do their act. They have hidden this act for weeks. Piers does not like them. Starts good. Nice sync. Good choreography. Buzz by Piers. But the audience disagrees and loves them. If the cameras would stay on the act, we could better judge them, but we liked them. Fun stuff. Piers is an idiot. Sharon saw it and tried to throttle him.

9. Eli Mattson (9/10)

Piano Player singer. Gets a one point deduction automatically for belonging on American Idol if he is indeed any good. Has a style similar to Marc Kohn. In fact, Eli did one of Marc’s songs last week. His Piano is good, his voice on key, and he has it all. Right on point. Guy is great. He would have a shot on Idol. Standing O.

Eli’s Version of Walking on Memphis.

10. Nuttin But Stringz (8/10)

Two guys that play the violin. Starts off good. Fun stuff. Building violin play, kind of intense, kind of corny. Piers says they are the favorite act in the competition. They are quite good, although a very odd act.

OK, the picks for us are pretty easy. The talent was totally evident.
1. Eli Mattson
2. Nuttin But Stringz
3. Tapping Dads
4. Donald Braswell
5. Kaitlyn Maher

We don’t need to play the child sympathy game this week, because the child sympathy act actually made it in by a hair into our top 5 because the bottom five acts were so horrible. But she will be out next week.

Eli has greatness built into his voice. Get him on Idol!!

*TGFFF: Thank gad for fast forward