3/17 Dancing With The Stars Results, Go-Go-Gone

We are not sure if it is this year’s performers, that the show is not aging well or if we miss Chloris Leachman, but however you cut it, last night put us in snooze mode.  At least one of us found ourselves in dreamland before the show was over.

We couldn’t even do a recap on that show. But here it is in a 2 minute clip, without the 2-hour cumbersome huhumm…

What do you do if you have a show that puts your audience to sleep??  Take the worst possible performers and have them do it again in a dance-off.  Great idea!!  ZZZZZZ.

It came down to Steve Wozniak versus Belinda Carlisle in a dance off. As we watched, we were begging for Cloris Leachman, these two are so bad.

Belinda was awful and just has no grace when dancing ballroom, which is surprising considering her past in the Go-Go’s.  This week, we are sorry to say she is a Go Go Goner.  Wozniak lives for another week, but there is little doubt he will be gone next week.

Our favorites are Melissa & Tony, Gilles & Cheryl, and Shawn and Mark who come across as more than half professional.  These are likley to be the top 3 couples, and don’t see anyone catching them.

belinda_carlisle_jonathan

10/7 Dancing with the Stars Results. Who Went Home?

No one goes home tonight, because of the forced departure of Misty May-Treanor due to her injury, but the judges scores will be additive next week, so the low couple at the bottom of the totem pole will have ground to make up in the votes next week.

It comes down to who “WOULD” have been going home rather than who will… for now.

In no particular order, they call out the names, only saying that the last couple has the lowest point total.

1. Brooke & Derek

2. Cloris and Corky (Please!)

3. Maurice & Cheryl

4. Susan and Tony

5. Cody and Julianne

6. Lacey and Lance

7. Warren & Kim

8. Toni and Alec

9. Rocco and Karina (dead last, but they survive)

This show is really getting boorish. We are kind of sick of the show dragging along Cloris. It is a sad joke that is either being supported by the show by fixing the vote for publicity, or it is announcing that this show is the replacement for Lawrence Welk.

If Cloris survives next week, we will take a week off from coverage until she is hopefully gone.


10/6 Dancing in a Bar Review and Recap, Analysis and Sexual Innuendo

Misty May-Treanor is done. She sprained her ankle in practice. She wouldn’t win, so it was a good time to get out. She ruptured her Achilles tendon. So, that is a pretty major injury. And what is interesting about it is that she is the most athletic of anyone here. We hope it wont hurt Misty in volleyball. We know she is competitive, but her age is catching up.

Susan & Tony (7/10)

Susan looks so amateurish. Her movements are like she is dancing karaoke. She looks like someone learning how to dance. Tony, of course, is great, and leads her about, which helps, but she isn’t very good. Her leg lifts get all of six inches off the floor. Tony can throw her around because she is petite, but she doesn’t have it quite. Tony’s legs are much faster and hide her flaws well. And you have to give the gal a point for having fun and effort. Judges: 21.

Lance & Lacey (8/10)

Last week the judges said they didn’t want to see Lacey’s tricks. Stupid, but hey, you have to play by their nonsense rules even if it makes it less fun for the audience. The “tricks” are the art. But the judges aren’t very good so you have to cater to them. They cooled it down for the Waltz this week, leading into very subtle, well choreographed moves with great chemistry. If the judges call these tricks, they should be sent home themselves. Judges: 22 The two judges that gave the 7s are stupid and have it in for Lacey.

Maurice & Cheryl (9/10)

Cheryl looked killer and knew the moves. Maurice came to play. He was using his athleticism jumping over Cheryl’s head. Tons of energy, which is what the Jibe is all about. Maurice failed to impress us in past weeks, but this week, he was all that. Cheryl was still the lead in the dance. If you watch it closely, she actually is throwing him around. Oh, this woman is great. We were wrong, she is better than Lacey. There were some awkward moves where Cheryl had to cover up for Maurice in the middle. He just didn’t know which way to turn. But the finish was dazzling and we had our winner this week. Judges 24. To put in perspective how stupid this is, look at some of the 24s from prior weeks. This was the best dance of the show thus far. But at least they didn’t fall asleep.

Rocco & Karina (6/10)

Rocco tried to start off in a blindfold. We wanted to borrow it for the rest of the dance. It looked like a dance at a wedding dance. They just couldn’t pull it off. Some lame applause from the audience that was obviously bored. It just had nothing going for it despite some cornball shenanigans and nice finish by Karina. Judges: 20. Overdone.

Warren & Kym (8/10)

We believe Warren is the most overrated dancer in this competition next to Cloris. He is somewhat graceful, but his physique is out of touch and awkward. Kym though, is killer and she is on par with Cheryl. And her dress this week was a designer dream. The dress was designed to dance, where some moves were done with the dress rather than with Kym’s hands. Warren looked stiff and like a trainee. He has one advantage. He is strong so when Kym wants to make a move that involves trust in her partner, she knows Warren won’t drop her. But it is a bit difficult watching Warren do a pirouette without laughing. Kym leads Warren so well that it is almost seamless. Kym had Warren dancing on her every whim. She is a classic. If you can make a fat man like Warren look good in dance, you can do anything. Judges: 25. That is kind of close, but Maurice did a better job than Warren ever could. They underscored Maurice and over-scored Warren.

Cody & Julianne (8/10)

Lots of energy, like you would expect from the youngest pair in the competition. Cody didn’t have the legwork down though. He was hopping about but Julianne was the only one dancing in parts. As they progressed, Cody loosened up and got more fun and showed in some moves he has great flexibility. There were parts that could have been great where Cody plays Julianne like a guitar, but he made such stupid faces, he lost the magic of it. Still, this is no elimination couple. Judges: 21. OK. Not good judging in comparison to others, but it keeps them in the running.

Toni & Alec (7/10)

Toni came out wearing a full gown that looked like it was worn by Marie Antoinette. It made for an elegant dance. But it made it very difficult for her to move and for us to see her move despite how loud they made the music. We don’t see elimination, but this was not up to Toni’s usual standards. Judges: 22. Pretty close.

Cloris & Corky (4/10)

Time for the joke of the competition. Should have been eliminated in week one or two. Either this is a setup for entertainment factor or she is drawing a sympathy vote. It ain’t talent. Cloris has to act up to get anything done. Trying to be funny. Every move looks like she belongs in a geriatric ward. She has fun, and we give her credit for still standing afterwards, but she doesn’t compare to the rest of the crowd. At the end her wig came off. It was awful. Judges: 16. Way too generous. Let’s cut the patronizing nonsense.

Brooke & Derek (8/10)

Brooke is elegant and the dress was stunning. Woman have a alight advantage because the professional men can really lead them. Brooke though has very nice lines and very pretty arm movement. The end had Brooke kissing her daughter for a nice heart warming touch. We liked this dance. Judges: 28. Now, we liked this a bunch. But that is way over the top. Still, we liked it and we think Brooke is earning big numbers.


Misty May-Treanor and partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy

9/30 Dancing With The Stars Elimination Shocker And Absurd Result

The show was entertaining, but watching it is better than reading it about it, so we won’t waste much time.

Couples that got through:

Toni & Alec

Rocco and Karina

Cody & Julianne

Brooke & Derek

Susan & Tony

Warren and Kym

Maurice and Cheryl

Lance & Lacey

Misty & Maks

Cloris & Corky

Eliminated

Kim and Mark

What can we say. Cloris makes it again. We do not know who would vote for this dancing disaster over Kim, but it doesn’t seem like anyone with any smarts would.

Kim couldn’t have won anyway, so it isn’t too sad, but Cloris should have been gone in week 1-2.

9/29 Dancing With The Stars: Performances and Prediction. Will Cloris Stay Another Week? We Hope Not!

1.      Toni & Alec (8/10)

Toni this week was untouchable in her gown.  She was the bell of the ball by so far, it was seriously unfair.  The only reason anyone would vote against her would be jealousy.  The dance was slow, provocative and sensual.   Judges score: 23.  A slight understatement by the judges, but overall, right on.

2.      Brooke and Derek (7/10)

Great outfits, but the dance was stiff.  They started getting it on in the middle, but there was little chemistry, minimal eye contact, just lots of flash.  Nice finish.  Entertaining, but not as good as Toni and Alec.  Judges score: 24, an overstatement by the judges, but close enough.

3.      Rocco & Karina (6/10)

Last week, Rocco must have cooked his special recipe for the judges to get the score he did.  It was silly. Let’s see what he can do this week.  Karina’s got the moves, but Rocco seems to be mediocre at best.  The choreography was fun with a tray of gems being served up.  Judges score: 16.  Wow, we were generous on this one.  But only by a point or two.  If Rocco survives, he will need a much better recipe next week.

4.      Lance & Lacey (8/10)

OK, we have the couple dancing to “I Kissed A Girl”.  Lance, for you, shouldn’t it be “I Kissed A Boy?”.  Lance did look great, even though the exaggerated lips on his collar looked a big corny.  Good entrance.  The job here is to exploit the fact that Lacey can dance better than anyone in the competition.  Some great moves, between the leg slides, almost SYTYCD quality choreography.   Ending kiss was corny though.  Judges: 20, these judges are way too hard on Lacey.   Won’t hurt much this week though.  If they give Cloris 24 we will just stop watching the show period.

5.      Kim & Mark (6/10)

Kim looked spectacular, but she has had continual problems with her dance having no passion.  She looks like she is just going though the motions; it just doesn’t look right.  There is absolutely no chemistry with Mark. Judges: 17.  Finally, the judges show some aptitude for dance.

6.      Misty & Maks (8/10)

Misty looked mean in the black outfit.  Almost S&M folks.  Would she lead Maks by the leash?  It started stiff.  But the athleticism kicked in and the confidence Misty has showed became evident.  There was a great flip move near the end.  If there were some whips, we would have given an extra point.  Judges: 21.  The judges praised these guys, but ranked Brooke and Derek higher?  Wow.

7.      Maurice & Cheryl (7/10)

Cheryl is incredible as a dancer.  Once she starts moving, you know you are looking at true talent.  Maurice?  Not so much.  He fakes it OK.  This was all Cheryl with Maurice along for the ride.  Judges: 19, just about right.

8.      Cloris & Corky (4/10)

Cloris wore a wig and elaborate Spanish dress to hide her figure.  Good thing.  She is so stiff and awkward.  Corky is good, but this isn’t about him.  Cloris looks like a woman that would struggle to cross the street.  It is just pathetic she is still here.  We gave her an extra point for the dress.  Judges: 15, and that was generous big time.  Risk Elimination!

9.      Susan & Tony (7/10)

Graceful at the start.  Susan fit the dress well, and was better than last week.  Still, she doesn’t excite us when we watch her.  There are no chills.  We give her one thing, there is chemistry with Tony.  Judges: 21, exactly what we thought.

10.  Warren & Kim (6/10)

Kim was over the top in her make-up.  She is so stunning, but this week looked rather Trick or Treat.  She can dance unbelievably though.  The black outfits gave the bullfighter feel.  Warren looked stiff.  Nice walk in the middle towards the front of the stage.  Warren looked like a fat ballerina for most of the rest.  Even Kim couldn’t save it.  Not good, but Kim, fantastic.  Judges: 24, idiotic.  Warren must have threatened or bribed them.  The fact the judges gave them the highest score of the night was complete comedy.

11.  Cody & Julianne (9/10)

Smooth start, nice moves.  Julianne has the body for the short dress she was wearing and Cody looked like he fit with her.  The chemistry and timing were there.  They were our favorite of the night.  Judges: 21.  You would rate Warren Sapp above this dance?  Wow.  We hope the judges have a chance to study dance before this gets too far along.  We would hate to see them ruin the competition with their inconsistency.



9/22 Dancing With The Stars Recap & Prediction: Some Were Smokin’, but Some Were Jokin’

T

his was an entertaining show. Our only complaints were that it was way, way too long, and had so many commercials we lost count. It is another show where 20 minutes of performance is countered with an hour and 40 minutes of commercials and boring filler.

They could spice up the show by making it hit a bit faster and running it for only an hour. That would be more than enough time to get across these dancer’s talents, and they still would have had 2/3 of the show for filler and commercials.

All that said, let’s judge, shall we?

Cody and Julianne (6/10)

They started sweet and cute. They seemed ahead of the music much of the time and didn’t finish with the music. Overall, though, they won’t go home.

Rocco & Karina (6/10)

Graceful, very nice lines. But Rocco needs a ton of work. Right now, his “cooking” is still in the kitchen and not on the dance floor. Nonetheless, they were good enough to survive the night.

Toni & Alec (8/10)

Toni Braxton is “all that”. The woman is a hot mover and Toni is as stunning as she is graceful. Alec makes a great partner, and the two of them together are smoking.

Maurice & Cheryl (6/10)

We just didn’t get the chemistry. They looked like they were having fun, but the dance didn’t come off as anything special. And when you can say that about any dance Cheryl was in, it is a rare occurrence.

Brooke and Derek (7/10)

We liked Brooke’s moves and the dance was very hot. The chemistry was there, and if Brooke were dressed a tad hotter, we may have awarded another point. No elimination here.

Ted & Inna (6/10)

Nice, formal dance. A bit boring. Ted was a bit stiff, perhaps nerves. We think they survive, but Ted has to loosen up.

Lance & Lacey (9/10)

No one can touch Lacey on the dance floor in this competition. She is smoking hot. She is not the prettiest woman, but no one can move like her. Lance came across as very masculine and danced extremely well, but Lacey stole the show. Great job. More!

Cloris & Corky (3/10)

Horrible. Cloris looked old and fat in the dress. She comes across as cornball and tries to make fun of the situation, but this is a competition, and she shouldn’t be in it. Elimination Risk.

Jeffrey & Edyta (3/10)

Could someone be a worse dancer than Cloris? We should match Jeffrey and Cloris up and make this real easy. Neither will last the week. Jeffrey is a standup comedian, but this dance was so bad, it wasn’t funny. Don’t give up your night job Jeffrey. Elimination Risk.

Kim and Mark (6/10)

Kim was absolutely incredible in her gown. No doubt, if this were only based on beauty, she would steal the show. But her dancing was a bit stiff and she needs to loosen up to get the timing right. Mark doesn’t help much. His personality doesn’t do it for us.

Susan and Tony (5/10)

Susan may survive, but this is a game for the young, and she isn’t. Despite a hot red dress, she didn’t look hot, and the dance came across as stiff and not much fun.

Misty & Maks (8/10)

Surpise of the night!! Mysty May danced with aplomb. She had smooth lines and looked as beautiful on the floor as any of her competition. She has the ability to get her technique down and has a real competitive flair. We like her chances.

Warren & Kim (6/10)

The judges were watching a different dance than we watched. Kym is phenomenal, but Warren looked like a Sap. His leg movement was OK, but his belly was bouncing all over the place and his upper body movement looked comical.

Results:

Cloris Leachman or Jeffrey Ross will be sent packing first, but it won’t matter much because the other is likely to go second.