We are not sure if it is this year’s performers, that the show is not aging well or if we miss Chloris Leachman, but however you cut it, last night put us in snooze mode. At least one of us found ourselves in dreamland before the show was over.
We couldn’t even do a recap on that show. But here it is in a 2 minute clip, without the 2-hour cumbersome huhumm…
What do you do if you have a show that puts your audience to sleep?? Take the worst possible performers and have them do it again in a dance-off. Great idea!! ZZZZZZ.
It came down to Steve Wozniak versus Belinda Carlisle in a dance off. As we watched, we were begging for Cloris Leachman, these two are so bad.
Belinda was awful and just has no grace when dancing ballroom, which is surprising considering her past in the Go-Go’s. This week, we are sorry to say she is a Go Go Goner. Wozniak lives for another week, but there is little doubt he will be gone next week.
Our favorites are Melissa & Tony, Gilles & Cheryl, and Shawn and Mark who come across as more than half professional. These are likley to be the top 3 couples, and don’t see anyone catching them.
No one goes home tonight, because of the forced departure of Misty May-Treanor due to her injury, but the judges scores will be additive next week, so the low couple at the bottom of the totem pole will have ground to make up in the votes next week.
It comes down to who “WOULD” have been going home rather than who will… for now.
In no particular order, they call out the names, only saying that the last couple has the lowest point total.
1. Brooke & Derek
2. Cloris and Corky (Please!)
3. Maurice & Cheryl
4. Susan and Tony
5. Cody and Julianne
6. Lacey and Lance
7. Warren & Kim
8. Toni and Alec
9. Rocco and Karina (dead last, but they survive)
This show is really getting boorish. We are kind of sick of the show dragging along Cloris. It is a sad joke that is either being supported by the show by fixing the vote for publicity, or it is announcing that this show is the replacement for Lawrence Welk.
If Cloris survives next week, we will take a week off from coverage until she is hopefully gone.
Misty May-Treanor is done. She sprained her ankle in practice. She wouldn’t win, so it was a good time to get out. She ruptured her Achilles tendon. So, that is a pretty major injury. And what is interesting about it is that she is the most athletic of anyone here. We hope it wont hurt Misty in volleyball. We know she is competitive, but her age is catching up.
Susan & Tony (7/10)
Susan looks so amateurish. Her movements are like she is dancing karaoke. She looks like someone learning how to dance. Tony, of course, is great, and leads her about, which helps, but she isn’t very good. Her leg lifts get all of six inches off the floor. Tony can throw her around because she is petite, but she doesn’t have it quite. Tony’s legs are much faster and hide her flaws well. And you have to give the gal a point for having fun and effort. Judges: 21.
Lance & Lacey (8/10)
Last week the judges said they didn’t want to see Lacey’s tricks. Stupid, but hey, you have to play by their nonsense rules even if it makes it less fun for the audience. The “tricks” are the art. But the judges aren’t very good so you have to cater to them. They cooled it down for the Waltz this week, leading into very subtle, well choreographed moves with great chemistry. If the judges call these tricks, they should be sent home themselves. Judges: 22 The two judges that gave the 7s are stupid and have it in for Lacey.
Maurice & Cheryl (9/10)
Cheryl looked killer and knew the moves. Maurice came to play. He was using his athleticism jumping over Cheryl’s head. Tons of energy, which is what the Jibe is all about. Maurice failed to impress us in past weeks, but this week, he was all that. Cheryl was still the lead in the dance. If you watch it closely, she actually is throwing him around. Oh, this woman is great. We were wrong, she is better than Lacey. There were some awkward moves where Cheryl had to cover up for Maurice in the middle. He just didn’t know which way to turn. But the finish was dazzling and we had our winner this week. Judges 24. To put in perspective how stupid this is, look at some of the 24s from prior weeks. This was the best dance of the show thus far. But at least they didn’t fall asleep.
Rocco & Karina (6/10)
Rocco tried to start off in a blindfold. We wanted to borrow it for the rest of the dance. It looked like a dance at a wedding dance. They just couldn’t pull it off. Some lame applause from the audience that was obviously bored. It just had nothing going for it despite some cornball shenanigans and nice finish by Karina. Judges: 20. Overdone.
Warren & Kym (8/10)
We believe Warren is the most overrated dancer in this competition next to Cloris. He is somewhat graceful, but his physique is out of touch and awkward. Kym though, is killer and she is on par with Cheryl. And her dress this week was a designer dream. The dress was designed to dance, where some moves were done with the dress rather than with Kym’s hands. Warren looked stiff and like a trainee. He has one advantage. He is strong so when Kym wants to make a move that involves trust in her partner, she knows Warren won’t drop her. But it is a bit difficult watching Warren do a pirouette without laughing. Kym leads Warren so well that it is almost seamless. Kym had Warren dancing on her every whim. She is a classic. If you can make a fat man like Warren look good in dance, you can do anything. Judges: 25. That is kind of close, but Maurice did a better job than Warren ever could. They underscored Maurice and over-scored Warren.
Cody & Julianne (8/10)
Lots of energy, like you would expect from the youngest pair in the competition. Cody didn’t have the legwork down though. He was hopping about but Julianne was the only one dancing in parts. As they progressed, Cody loosened up and got more fun and showed in some moves he has great flexibility. There were parts that could have been great where Cody plays Julianne like a guitar, but he made such stupid faces, he lost the magic of it. Still, this is no elimination couple. Judges: 21. OK. Not good judging in comparison to others, but it keeps them in the running.
Toni & Alec (7/10)
Toni came out wearing a full gown that looked like it was worn by Marie Antoinette. It made for an elegant dance. But it made it very difficult for her to move and for us to see her move despite how loud they made the music. We don’t see elimination, but this was not up to Toni’s usual standards. Judges: 22. Pretty close.
Cloris & Corky (4/10)
Time for the joke of the competition. Should have been eliminated in week one or two. Either this is a setup for entertainment factor or she is drawing a sympathy vote. It ain’t talent. Cloris has to act up to get anything done. Trying to be funny. Every move looks like she belongs in a geriatric ward. She has fun, and we give her credit for still standing afterwards, but she doesn’t compare to the rest of the crowd. At the end her wig came off. It was awful. Judges: 16. Way too generous. Let’s cut the patronizing nonsense.
Brooke & Derek (8/10)
Brooke is elegant and the dress was stunning. Woman have a alight advantage because the professional men can really lead them. Brooke though has very nice lines and very pretty arm movement. The end had Brooke kissing her daughter for a nice heart warming touch. We liked this dance. Judges: 28. Now, we liked this a bunch. But that is way over the top. Still, we liked it and we think Brooke is earning big numbers.
Toni this week was untouchable in her gown. She was the bell of the ball by so far, it was seriously unfair. The only reason anyone would vote against her would be jealousy. The dance was slow, provocative and sensual. Judges score: 23. A slight understatement by the judges, but overall, right on.
2. Brooke and Derek (7/10)
Great outfits, but the dance was stiff. They started getting it on in the middle, but there was little chemistry, minimal eye contact, just lots of flash. Nice finish. Entertaining, but not as good as Toni and Alec. Judges score: 24, an overstatement by the judges, but close enough.
3. Rocco & Karina (6/10)
Last week, Rocco must have cooked his special recipe for the judges to get the score he did. It was silly. Let’s see what he can do this week. Karina’s got the moves, but Rocco seems to be mediocre at best. The choreography was fun with a tray of gems being served up. Judges score: 16. Wow, we were generous on this one. But only by a point or two. If Rocco survives, he will need a much better recipe next week.
4. Lance & Lacey (8/10)
OK, we have the couple dancing to “I Kissed A Girl”. Lance, for you, shouldn’t it be “I Kissed A Boy?”. Lance did look great, even though the exaggerated lips on his collar looked a big corny. Good entrance. The job here is to exploit the fact that Lacey can dance better than anyone in the competition. Some great moves, between the leg slides, almost SYTYCD quality choreography. Ending kiss was corny though. Judges: 20, these judges are way too hard on Lacey. Won’t hurt much this week though. If they give Cloris 24 we will just stop watching the show period.
5. Kim & Mark (6/10)
Kim looked spectacular, but she has had continual problems with her dance having no passion. She looks like she is just going though the motions; it just doesn’t look right. There is absolutely no chemistry with Mark. Judges: 17. Finally, the judges show some aptitude for dance.
6. Misty & Maks (8/10)
Misty looked mean in the black outfit. Almost S&M folks. Would she lead Maks by the leash? It started stiff. But the athleticism kicked in and the confidence Misty has showed became evident. There was a great flip move near the end. If there were some whips, we would have given an extra point. Judges: 21. The judges praised these guys, but ranked Brooke and Derek higher? Wow.
7. Maurice & Cheryl (7/10)
Cheryl is incredible as a dancer. Once she starts moving, you know you are looking at true talent. Maurice? Not so much. He fakes it OK. This was all Cheryl with Maurice along for the ride. Judges: 19, just about right.
8. Cloris & Corky (4/10)
Cloris wore a wig and elaborate Spanish dress to hide her figure. Good thing. She is so stiff and awkward. Corky is good, but this isn’t about him. Cloris looks like a woman that would struggle to cross the street. It is just pathetic she is still here. We gave her an extra point for the dress. Judges: 15, and that was generous big time. Risk Elimination!
9. Susan & Tony (7/10)
Graceful at the start. Susan fit the dress well, and was better than last week. Still, she doesn’t excite us when we watch her. There are no chills. We give her one thing, there is chemistry with Tony. Judges: 21, exactly what we thought.
10. Warren & Kim (6/10)
Kim was over the top in her make-up. She is so stunning, but this week looked rather Trick or Treat. She can dance unbelievably though. The black outfits gave the bullfighter feel. Warren looked stiff. Nice walk in the middle towards the front of the stage. Warren looked like a fat ballerina for most of the rest. Even Kim couldn’t save it. Not good, but Kim, fantastic. Judges: 24, idiotic. Warren must have threatened or bribed them. The fact the judges gave them the highest score of the night was complete comedy.
11. Cody & Julianne (9/10)
Smooth start, nice moves. Julianne has the body for the short dress she was wearing and Cody looked like he fit with her. The chemistry and timing were there. They were our favorite of the night. Judges: 21. You would rate Warren Sapp above this dance? Wow. We hope the judges have a chance to study dance before this gets too far along. We would hate to see them ruin the competition with their inconsistency.
This will be short and sweet. We covered everything in tonights show last night.
Our feelings about the performances are no different.
They started by letting Jeffrey & Edyta do a goodbye dance. They were cute. Next.
The couples passed through to next week…
1. Cloris & Corky
This was a sad joke on America. There is no way this couple got to the next round legitimately, unless this was some kind of elderly sympathy act. Absolutely pathetic that it will result in the elimination of someone with actual talent.
2. Maurice & Cheryl
Cheryl saved the day!! Maurice will live to dance another day.
3. Misty & Maksim
They get another one right!!
4. Warren & Kym
OK. Warren was much better last night and Kym is so incredible, it is hard to not include her in the competition.
5. Susan & Tony
Marginally in our list to survive.
6. Rocco & Karina
OK, they were mediocre, so we wouldn’t have eliminated them.
8. Lance & Lacey
If they had sent these two packing, we would have stopped covering the show right here and now.
9. Cody & Julianne
Not dissatisfied with this choice.
10.Toni & Alec
If they were indeed in the bottom 2, this was either fixed, or America was off hook. Cloris over Toni Braxton? Is that totally stupid or what?
Ted and Inna go home. All our favorites from last night made it. Cloris, our least favorite, survived, and we know she will remain our least favorite going forward.
Ted and Inna wouldn’t have survived anyway. They tied for worst with several other couples next to the absolute worst, Cloris. Ted was too stiff and Inna just doesn’t have the look of the other women. But to have dangled Toni as next to last was stupid, they were great and our favorite of the night. And to pass through Cloris was a sad joke on America. We really don’t want to see her dance again. *TGFFF.
Fantastic. As close to a 10/10 we could give without totally picking this team outright. Lacey has a way of leading while she follows and she has Lance picking up a huge number of small tricks. They were quick, fun, smiling, winners. The judges stupidly underscored at 21. This was a 24 or better. Doesn’t matter now, but we hope the judges improve. They are supposed to know what they are doing, and we would hate to see them ruin the final. This was at least an 8/10 dance.
Misty May & Maksim (9/10)
Nice start with a Misty solo. Misty shows that part of dancing is athletic as she could move her legs and swing with the pros. Some moves she made would be hard to do without strength. Lacey has that athleticism from dance, but Misty has it from volleyball, and it is Olympic quality. Add one more attribute to Misty…the competitive spirit. Misty is in this to win, because she hates to lose. We cannot believe we gave her this score; but she earned it. One thing to truly consider here, Misty was the star, not Maxim. How often does that happen? Not one missed move and legwork that gave us a chill. The judges again showed their weaknesses. Another 24 dance goes off as a 21.
Maurice & Cheryl (8/10)
They didn’t thill us last night, but Cheryl has it so if anyone can save Maurice, she is it. Cheryl was stunning in this outfit. There are few that could pull off her look, but this is not about her, it is about Maurice. Cheryl did everything she could do to make her partner stand out. It worked. It was more Cheryl than Maurice and she reminded us of what a spectacular dance star she is. She is up right up there with Lacey. She brought energy to the dance and she was awesome. She brought Maurice to the party. The judges must have been playing blackjack. Another 21. This time closer to reality though.
Brooke & Derek (7/10)
Pretty start. Good leg movement on Derek, but he is already the pro. Brooke does not have the same leg movement and the long gown conceals it only a bit. Nice ending. The judges had us laughing on this one, giving then a 26. This was no 26. They were the weakest of the groups so far. No idea what the judges were thinking here.
Cloris & Corky (3/10)
They were horrible last night. Could they survive tonight? They didn’t come in last, which is surprising except for Jeffrey. Once Again Cloris’ dress made her look like a pig ready for slaughter. The movements were clumsy and slow. They attempted comedy, but it doesn’t work. This is dance, not comedy. The audience cheered, we jeered. Judges gave them a generous 16. Our equivalent score is 9.
Toni & Alec (10/10)
Toni looked a bit nervous at the start but grace was all we saw from there on. Fast feet, beautiful presentation. In sync, in time, and in the show. The ending move was killer. OK, we have to rethink our scoring. The judges gave them a 23. This was idiotic compared to Brooke and Cheryl. We hope the judges buy glasses before they get to the finals.
Kym & Warren (8/10)
Warren had trouble with his size, but was better than many would be without it. His outfit hid the tummy better this time. He had the leg movement, and Kym was so killer that it offset any weakness from Warren. We don’t think Warren can win, but with Kym, anything is possible. We wrote Warren off last week. This week, he changed our minds. The judges gave them a 22. Nice, near our score.
Ted and Inna (6/10)
Ted started off with a truly goofy facial expression, which distracted us right off the bat. He seemed looser than last night, but the goofy faces are for a sitcom, not here. Ted was fun, but not loose still. He needs Yoga or something. The judges gave them a 19, which isn’t far off from our guess.
Cody & Julianne (6/10)
Nice energy at the beginning, but some childish expressions from Cody. Middle of dance was boring. Nothing special in the moves. Foot work then got better, which is what the quick step is about. They needed more of it. It wasn’t all that. The judges were absurdly generous at 23.
Rocco & Karina (6/10)
Rocco needed some sauce, because he needed to accent the dish he offered and had little in the main course without it. His moves are awkward and not in the same league as the best in this crowd. It was all Karina, and that ain’t gonna win. The 21 they gave this couple demonstrates the judges have no concept of dance. To place this dance on par with Lance and Lacey brings the judges’ abilities clearly into question.
Susan & Tony (6/10)
Susan was way too rigid last night, let’s look to see if her stiffness and slowness would change tonight. Susan kept up on the foot work, but was being dragged around the floor for most of the performance like a rag doll. Still, much better than last night. The judges now revealed they aren’t only blind, they are stupid. How you could even compare this in any way to the first two performances was laughable. And they scored it higher with a 22. An insult to dancing, but it won’t matter. Susan won’t win.
Kim and Mark (6/10)
OK, Kim left little doubt with her outfit who the most beautiful woman on the dance floor is, but that isn’t the point here. Let’s see if grace follows beauty. They tried something very risky, doing a fast step to a hip hop tune. It was rather bizarre. It wasn’t working for us early, even though Kim has the attributes to bounce her way to the top. The timing was off. The dance was all wrong for the music. Hate to say it, it wasn’t good. Kim has the booty working, but had to be faster in the hips, so even with her booty, it wasn’t happening. Cute, but a no go. The judges got this one right with an 18.
Jeffrey and Edyta go home. Surprise. It was down to Cloris or Jeffrey. They were both horrible. Cloris is next.
No tough decisions for the first two eliminations.