9/24 America’s Got Talent Finals, So Hard to Choose!

Tonight, AGT was better than usual thanks to President Bush. AGT compacted the show and reduced the commercial count because the President had used up a ton of time to tell us how badly the economy is doing and how they want a scant 700 billion bucks to save the day. How did it happen? We don’t know, but we aren’t thinking too many people would vote for Bush in this competition.

We were grateful for the result though. AGT was short, compact, tight, quick and entertaining. Normally it would have been so drawn out, and it was so much better with the judges being quick and Jerry talking much less, awesome.

Now the acts.

Nuttin But Stringz (8/10)

As usual, very dynamic with tons of energy, and, with help, the only act that could do a Vegas performance someone might pay for long term. The audience loved it. The judges stood for the ovation. An amazing performance after which it took a while to calm the audience. Their biggest problem. They went first. That is a very tough slot to win when the voters can’t vote until the end of the show. We didn’t give them the highest score because they are depending more and more on hired hands. Other dancers and performers to enhance their performance. We suppose that is normal for Vegas, but for us it cheapens the act.

Donald Braswell (6/10)

“You Raise Me Up” after I have fallen asleep listening to you. Donald sings “nice”, We could see him doing the national anthem nationwide, I could see him doing Broadway, We could see him doing anything but a concert weekly in Vegas that anyone would want to see. Sorry Donald. You sing great. Honest. But the judges even looked asleep at the end.

Neil E. Boyd (8/10)

They cleared the stage for Neil. They had to because he wouldn’t fit on one stage otherwise. But the adjustment was something they would have to do for Queen Emily anyway. Neil has a hamburger eating competition next week if this doesn’t work out. He listened to the judges and did some incredibly boring opera. And you know, maybe if someone is looking for a real huge man to sing Opera, he will do fine. He has a quality voice and could perform in Opera just about anywhere, but he could not have his own show on Vegas. Maybe a permanent Opera show though, something that centered on him but was a much bigger show. That could work. But we are not sure enough America will recognize it, and they would need a massive stage to hold him and anyone else.

Eli Mattson (9/10)

Time for some Phil Collins, “Against All Odds”. Eli had a problem with tonight’s song, which has to do with a disappearing voice at the beginning and end of verses. We think it could be just be a proper microphone adjustment because of his style. Eli has a lot of inflection in his voice that leads to soft and louder moments that are part of his technique. But the microphone cannot be set flat or it doesn’t pick up his voice on the softer moments. Eli was great, but has one major problem; he is no Vegas act. So, what do you vote for? Talent or Vegas?

Queen Emily (6/10)

We said when we originally saw her, “It ain’t over until the fat lady sings”. Well, they are once again going to have Emily sing last. An advantage clearly, but so far, we haven’t thought much of her talent since her first week. She had a chance to choose a killer song, and chose a boring one. “One Moment In Time” is a classic, but it is boring and has to be driven by an incredible voice. Emily doesn’t have it. Back to donuts.

Here is our selection:

Eli was once again better than anyone on the stage. He needs a quality microphone, but overall, no one touches his creativity and talent.

A dark horse is Nuttin But Stringz, but they went first and by the end, America may forget to vote for them. We think they are the only unique act left so deserve the votes to at least be close with Eli even if they don’t win.

Neil was great, and if you could picture a long running Opera show on Vegas, Neil could pull it off as the center of that show, but it would have to be a large show. Very large.

Eli and Nuttin But Stringz are so close that it could go either way. We will leave it for you to pick.

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9/24 Dancing With the Stars Results, A Sad Joke on America

This will be short and sweet. We covered everything in tonights show last night.

Our feelings about the performances are no different.

They started by letting Jeffrey & Edyta do a goodbye dance. They were cute. Next.

The couples passed through to next week…

1. Cloris & Corky

This was a sad joke on America. There is no way this couple got to the next round legitimately, unless this was some kind of elderly sympathy act. Absolutely pathetic that it will result in the elimination of someone with actual talent.

2. Maurice & Cheryl

Cheryl saved the day!! Maurice will live to dance another day.

3. Misty & Maksim

They get another one right!!

4. Warren & Kym

OK. Warren was much better last night and Kym is so incredible, it is hard to not include her in the competition.

5. Susan & Tony

Marginally in our list to survive.

6. Rocco & Karina

OK, they were mediocre, so we wouldn’t have eliminated them.

8. Lance & Lacey

If they had sent these two packing, we would have stopped covering the show right here and now.

9. Cody & Julianne

Not dissatisfied with this choice.

10.Toni & Alec

If they were indeed in the bottom 2, this was either fixed, or America was off hook. Cloris over Toni Braxton? Is that totally stupid or what?

Ted and Inna go home. All our favorites from last night made it. Cloris, our least favorite, survived, and we know she will remain our least favorite going forward.

Ted and Inna wouldn’t have survived anyway. They tied for worst with several other couples next to the absolute worst, Cloris. Ted was too stiff and Inna just doesn’t have the look of the other women. But to have dangled Toni as next to last was stupid, they were great and our favorite of the night. And to pass through Cloris was a sad joke on America. We really don’t want to see her dance again. *TGFFF.

*TGFFF: Thank gad for fast forward



7/22 Season 3 Recap: Terry Fator Gets 100 million Dollars!

Terry Fator from Last Year Got 100 Million Dollars? America rewards talent!!!

America’s Got Talent is a difficult show to review. (PLEASE MAKE SURE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS ARTICLE!!!) First of all, it is all up to the judges during the interview sessions, so we don’t get to vote. But we can express our opinions, and the show is nothing if it isn’t entertaining. They started in New York.

Our experience with this show, and almost all reality shows, has been…if the performers look like clowns or freaks, they almost always are. Well, this show was no exception.

The first act entered, and the first reaction we had was “Freak!!” Perry Zanett came in dressed as a king and performed Shakespeare. He was summarily buzzed in seconds. Piers’ comment, “You were a complete waste of space and I’d like you to go”. Our observation, he dressed like a king, but he just played the fool. His exiting comment was funny though. He said it was laughable to get buzzed by a thespian like David Hasselhoff. Wow, the guy must at least have a dictionary.

The next two acts were silly. The first, a rolling cube summarily buzzed that Piers said “…was fun for ten seconds if you have the mentality of a 2 year old”. But it was an improvement over Perry. Another act was a sad attempt at singing and dancing. The audience booed and called for elimination. They got their wish and this wasn’t even worth talking about.

Next, a group called the Power Team that ran through burning wood and charged through solid ice didn’t make it. Piers said it all, “You’re all completely bonkers, aren’t you?”

How could you keep the bad acts coming? But they did. A stageful of people in theatrical outfits moving about randomly to what sounded like a marching band. Buzz, buzz, buzz!!!

Darn, couldn’t they get to a real act? Finally, they did, a shadow puppeteer, believe it or not. The shadows he made were totally recognizable and were quite entertaining, from John Kennedy to the Pope. Fun stuff, voted through to Vegas, but hard to imagine as a winning act.

XL was up next, a young black singer that was quite superb. The audience got into it, and the judges voted him through after singing a masterful piece. But we couldn’t help but think they should have sent him off to American Idol; he doesn’t belong here.

Now we were off to LA.

First up, a group of cheerleaders dressed in mini-skirts. Of course, that won over Hasselhoff before they moved an inch. They got voted through, but they were little more than cheerleaders that kicked Rockettes style.

Now it was time for the weekly obligatory child act. Can’t get through one of these shows without at least one. This was a 10 year old break dancer titled “Shaker”. You know, he would be cute in a street act, and he got the expected child vote. He was far from a prize act, but at least this will give the kid a chance to see Vegas.

The show moved through a bunch of winning acts we were not allowed to see, which we hate, because the show wasted at least a half an hour at the beginning on freak shows. The audience wants to see the winners not freaks! One or two freaks for a chuckle is fine, but it is a shame to not expose some of the winning acts in favor of total jokes.

So did they stop with the freaks? Not a chance. Another guy steps in named Ronn B? First reaction, he looked like a joker…and what is the rule? He was. He broke into a total sham of dance and song. The dancing was pathetic and spastic and the singing horrific. David buzzed him, but the others let him finish. David exclaimed, “This is a talent show, not a freak show!”. Right David, then what was the first half an hour of this show all about? It was all freaks. But Piers and Sharon voted the joker through to Vegas in their seasonal tease of David. What a waste!

Next was a ventriloquist. It is very hard to follow Terry Fator, the winner from last year, who has now signed a 100 million dollar contract for his new show in Las Vegas!!!! We didn’t expect much of Michael Harrison, but he brought up a volunteer and had him play a puppet. He had a real puppet on one hand and the volunteer on the other, and the interaction he portrayed was hysterically funny. He is no Terry Fator, and it is difficult to see him winning, but he was quite good relative to the other talent so far, so he deserved to get through.

Well, they say, “It ain’t over until the ‘fat’ lady sings”, and this show would be no exception. A singer named Emily Davis took the stage. We were relieved to find out she was going to sing and not attempt anything crazy. Well, this lady did sing, and she was good…great in fact. Piers said at the end that she had a “great chance” of winning it all. Hasselhoff and Sharon agreed. Now, I know, you will guess that we would be upset to see another singer get through, but this wasn’t a child sympathy act, and this woman could never have made American Idol at her age. So, we welcome her after she brought the audience to their feet and wowed us with her voice. Talented this woman is. And, “that is what this show is all about!”

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Season 6, Episode 9: Last Comic Standing Recap and Prediction

Tonight’s “Last Comic Standing” was a huge improvement over last week. They brought the bulk of the comics to the audience for voting, like we hoped they would in our last article, and it was a great show!!

It started off with the comics discussing Iliza. It was obvious that if they were on the way to the cemetery again, they would not vote for her. As one comic put it, if she got into the showdown again and won, this would become a story about her instead of a competition.

But they had nothing to fear, because the change was on. Tonight there would be no cemetery. Tonight, everyone was fair game. Tonight, it would be up to the TV audience; a fair challenge to see who was best. Our kind of show!!

To get “immunity”, the comics were first challenged to bring laughter to a select group. In case you don’t know what “immunity” is, it means that the person that gets “immunity” does not have to compete that week and cannot be eliminated.

The first challenge was rather dumb and a waste of time. The cast went to a Sushi bar and did some comedy while cooking for Lady Body Builders, Deal or no Deal (a set of hot women, now isn’t that unfair to Iliza?), the frat boys of Sigma Chi (I think that is right) and a bunch of midgets.

This was boring and seemed to serve no purpose.There was no voting, and it appeared to just be filler. They had to make the show run two hours, and well, our best guess is that they ran out of material and used this to burn time. Yawn. No one was spectacular and this part of the show was totally forgettable. In fact, you can delete this paragraph.

But the next stop was interesting. The comics were loaded on the bus and carted off to what appeared to be a mansion. A beautiful estate with a pool swarming with…bikini-clad models. What could this be? Of course; the Playboy mansion.

Three hot Playboy models that have repeatedly adorned the front page of the most famous men’s magazine in history came down the stairs to meet the remaining cast of performers. And those men that were eliminated in prior weeks committed hari-kari immediately upon viewing this segment of the show. Esther, however, was not amused.

The task was to take a story line , make it into a fairy tale and tell it to the three models. The one that got the highest vote would get “immunity”.

You know, the performances were all pretty crappy. It is difficult to perform comedy to strangers on the spur of the moment, but one performer was head and shoulders above the rest. His advantage? Something comedians have used for eons to gain an advantage on stage. Something that allows them to wow an audience quickly and that is a great lead into other material. Something that even exploits the humor of other well-known performers. What could it be? Impersonations of course. And Marcus killed it.

What was funniest, though, was how dumb the three blonde models played through the entire set, leaving us thinking, “Wow, these really are three dumb blondes!!” Then, they came down with their selection and showed us all; nothing could be further from the truth. These ladies were far from dumb and they are living in that mansion for a reason. Well, right, multiple reasons, but one of them isn’t because they are dumb.

So, it came down to a showdown among the finalists. We will list each and rank them and you will be given a chance to pick your favorite and your least favorite.

1. Adam Hunter – Adam started off slow but got progressively better and had us laughing by the end of his set. He uses major facial expression and got a 7 out of 10 from us for his performance.

2. Iliza – The winner over the past two weeks was clever again, trying to draw in the audience, but this week, she wasn’t going to take out everyone. She got a ranking of 6 out of 10 from us, but did get a giggle or two.

3. Sean – Great performance by Sean. His initial lead-in was only fair, but when he broke into song, he had us in stitches. His facial expressions are priceless and the lyrics classic. We won’t repeat them here. You have to see the show. He took the lead with an 8 out of 10.

4. Jim Tavare – You know, Jim started real slow. He came on with a Bass Violin and led us down a merry path of boredom until he hit his stride and then had us laughing huge. One joke was “I went to a child psychiatrist; he was 8”. Delivery is everything and this guy brought it. 9 out of 10.

5. Jeff Dye – Cute for the ladies who obviously love this guy, but only a moderate performance. Got a couple of giggles out of us, but overall, 5 out of 10.

6. Ron G – Ron seemed to grab the audience, but we didn’t get it. Because he had the audience’s attention though, we gave him 7 out of 10.

7. Louis Ramey – Fantastic from the word go. One laugh after another. “I never go to book stores, because I have cable.” Or “Ladies, if a man ever tells you he wants to cover your entire body in honey and lick it off, you are looking at a man that has never tried it before”. 10 out of 10.

OK, so there you have it. The bottom for us was Jeff Dye. Just not funny. Iliza didn’t have a good week either, so she could go too. The top three that should garner the audience’s favor are Louis Ramey, Jim Tavare and Sean. Adam Hunter and Ron G could be at risk.

Now what else do we say? Katee will win this competition too?

Polls are now closed. Thank you.
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