9/24 Dancing With the Stars Results, A Sad Joke on America

This will be short and sweet. We covered everything in tonights show last night.

Our feelings about the performances are no different.

They started by letting Jeffrey & Edyta do a goodbye dance. They were cute. Next.

The couples passed through to next week…

1. Cloris & Corky

This was a sad joke on America. There is no way this couple got to the next round legitimately, unless this was some kind of elderly sympathy act. Absolutely pathetic that it will result in the elimination of someone with actual talent.

2. Maurice & Cheryl

Cheryl saved the day!! Maurice will live to dance another day.

3. Misty & Maksim

They get another one right!!

4. Warren & Kym

OK. Warren was much better last night and Kym is so incredible, it is hard to not include her in the competition.

5. Susan & Tony

Marginally in our list to survive.

6. Rocco & Karina

OK, they were mediocre, so we wouldn’t have eliminated them.

8. Lance & Lacey

If they had sent these two packing, we would have stopped covering the show right here and now.

9. Cody & Julianne

Not dissatisfied with this choice.

10.Toni & Alec

If they were indeed in the bottom 2, this was either fixed, or America was off hook. Cloris over Toni Braxton? Is that totally stupid or what?

Ted and Inna go home. All our favorites from last night made it. Cloris, our least favorite, survived, and we know she will remain our least favorite going forward.

Ted and Inna wouldn’t have survived anyway. They tied for worst with several other couples next to the absolute worst, Cloris. Ted was too stiff and Inna just doesn’t have the look of the other women. But to have dangled Toni as next to last was stupid, they were great and our favorite of the night. And to pass through Cloris was a sad joke on America. We really don’t want to see her dance again. *TGFFF.

*TGFFF: Thank gad for fast forward



9/23 Dancing With The Stars Recap, Results, Predictions

Lance & Lacey (9/10)

Fantastic. As close to a 10/10 we could give without totally picking this team outright. Lacey has a way of leading while she follows and she has Lance picking up a huge number of small tricks. They were quick, fun, smiling, winners. The judges stupidly underscored at 21. This was a 24 or better. Doesn’t matter now, but we hope the judges improve. They are supposed to know what they are doing, and we would hate to see them ruin the final. This was at least an 8/10 dance.

Misty May & Maksim (9/10)

Nice start with a Misty solo. Misty shows that part of dancing is athletic as she could move her legs and swing with the pros. Some moves she made would be hard to do without strength. Lacey has that athleticism from dance, but Misty has it from volleyball, and it is Olympic quality. Add one more attribute to Misty…the competitive spirit. Misty is in this to win, because she hates to lose. We cannot believe we gave her this score; but she earned it. One thing to truly consider here, Misty was the star, not Maxim. How often does that happen? Not one missed move and legwork that gave us a chill. The judges again showed their weaknesses. Another 24 dance goes off as a 21.

Maurice & Cheryl (8/10)

They didn’t thill us last night, but Cheryl has it so if anyone can save Maurice, she is it. Cheryl was stunning in this outfit. There are few that could pull off her look, but this is not about her, it is about Maurice. Cheryl did everything she could do to make her partner stand out. It worked. It was more Cheryl than Maurice and she reminded us of what a spectacular dance star she is. She is up right up there with Lacey. She brought energy to the dance and she was awesome. She brought Maurice to the party. The judges must have been playing blackjack. Another 21. This time closer to reality though.

Brooke & Derek (7/10)

Pretty start. Good leg movement on Derek, but he is already the pro. Brooke does not have the same leg movement and the long gown conceals it only a bit. Nice ending. The judges had us laughing on this one, giving then a 26. This was no 26. They were the weakest of the groups so far. No idea what the judges were thinking here.

Cloris & Corky (3/10)

They were horrible last night. Could they survive tonight? They didn’t come in last, which is surprising except for Jeffrey. Once Again Cloris’ dress made her look like a pig ready for slaughter. The movements were clumsy and slow. They attempted comedy, but it doesn’t work. This is dance, not comedy. The audience cheered, we jeered. Judges gave them a generous 16. Our equivalent score is 9.

Toni & Alec (10/10)

Toni looked a bit nervous at the start but grace was all we saw from there on. Fast feet, beautiful presentation. In sync, in time, and in the show. The ending move was killer. OK, we have to rethink our scoring. The judges gave them a 23. This was idiotic compared to Brooke and Cheryl. We hope the judges buy glasses before they get to the finals.

Kym & Warren (8/10)

Warren had trouble with his size, but was better than many would be without it. His outfit hid the tummy better this time. He had the leg movement, and Kym was so killer that it offset any weakness from Warren. We don’t think Warren can win, but with Kym, anything is possible. We wrote Warren off last week. This week, he changed our minds. The judges gave them a 22. Nice, near our score.

Ted and Inna (6/10)

Ted started off with a truly goofy facial expression, which distracted us right off the bat. He seemed looser than last night, but the goofy faces are for a sitcom, not here. Ted was fun, but not loose still. He needs Yoga or something. The judges gave them a 19, which isn’t far off from our guess.

Cody & Julianne (6/10)

Nice energy at the beginning, but some childish expressions from Cody. Middle of dance was boring. Nothing special in the moves. Foot work then got better, which is what the quick step is about. They needed more of it. It wasn’t all that. The judges were absurdly generous at 23.

Rocco & Karina (6/10)

Rocco needed some sauce, because he needed to accent the dish he offered and had little in the main course without it. His moves are awkward and not in the same league as the best in this crowd. It was all Karina, and that ain’t gonna win. The 21 they gave this couple demonstrates the judges have no concept of dance. To place this dance on par with Lance and Lacey brings the judges’ abilities clearly into question.

Susan & Tony (6/10)

Susan was way too rigid last night, let’s look to see if her stiffness and slowness would change tonight. Susan kept up on the foot work, but was being dragged around the floor for most of the performance like a rag doll. Still, much better than last night. The judges now revealed they aren’t only blind, they are stupid. How you could even compare this in any way to the first two performances was laughable. And they scored it higher with a 22. An insult to dancing, but it won’t matter. Susan won’t win.

Kim and Mark (6/10)

OK, Kim left little doubt with her outfit who the most beautiful woman on the dance floor is, but that isn’t the point here. Let’s see if grace follows beauty. They tried something very risky, doing a fast step to a hip hop tune. It was rather bizarre. It wasn’t working for us early, even though Kim has the attributes to bounce her way to the top. The timing was off. The dance was all wrong for the music. Hate to say it, it wasn’t good. Kim has the booty working, but had to be faster in the hips, so even with her booty, it wasn’t happening. Cute, but a no go. The judges got this one right with an 18.

Jeffrey and Edyta go home. Surprise. It was down to Cloris or Jeffrey. They were both horrible. Cloris is next.

No tough decisions for the first two eliminations.

Our favorites…

Toni & Alec (10/10)

Misty May & Maxim (9/10)

Lance & Lacey (9/10)

Elimination for Cloris on the way.

9/22 Dancing With The Stars Recap & Prediction: Some Were Smokin’, but Some Were Jokin’

T

his was an entertaining show. Our only complaints were that it was way, way too long, and had so many commercials we lost count. It is another show where 20 minutes of performance is countered with an hour and 40 minutes of commercials and boring filler.

They could spice up the show by making it hit a bit faster and running it for only an hour. That would be more than enough time to get across these dancer’s talents, and they still would have had 2/3 of the show for filler and commercials.

All that said, let’s judge, shall we?

Cody and Julianne (6/10)

They started sweet and cute. They seemed ahead of the music much of the time and didn’t finish with the music. Overall, though, they won’t go home.

Rocco & Karina (6/10)

Graceful, very nice lines. But Rocco needs a ton of work. Right now, his “cooking” is still in the kitchen and not on the dance floor. Nonetheless, they were good enough to survive the night.

Toni & Alec (8/10)

Toni Braxton is “all that”. The woman is a hot mover and Toni is as stunning as she is graceful. Alec makes a great partner, and the two of them together are smoking.

Maurice & Cheryl (6/10)

We just didn’t get the chemistry. They looked like they were having fun, but the dance didn’t come off as anything special. And when you can say that about any dance Cheryl was in, it is a rare occurrence.

Brooke and Derek (7/10)

We liked Brooke’s moves and the dance was very hot. The chemistry was there, and if Brooke were dressed a tad hotter, we may have awarded another point. No elimination here.

Ted & Inna (6/10)

Nice, formal dance. A bit boring. Ted was a bit stiff, perhaps nerves. We think they survive, but Ted has to loosen up.

Lance & Lacey (9/10)

No one can touch Lacey on the dance floor in this competition. She is smoking hot. She is not the prettiest woman, but no one can move like her. Lance came across as very masculine and danced extremely well, but Lacey stole the show. Great job. More!

Cloris & Corky (3/10)

Horrible. Cloris looked old and fat in the dress. She comes across as cornball and tries to make fun of the situation, but this is a competition, and she shouldn’t be in it. Elimination Risk.

Jeffrey & Edyta (3/10)

Could someone be a worse dancer than Cloris? We should match Jeffrey and Cloris up and make this real easy. Neither will last the week. Jeffrey is a standup comedian, but this dance was so bad, it wasn’t funny. Don’t give up your night job Jeffrey. Elimination Risk.

Kim and Mark (6/10)

Kim was absolutely incredible in her gown. No doubt, if this were only based on beauty, she would steal the show. But her dancing was a bit stiff and she needs to loosen up to get the timing right. Mark doesn’t help much. His personality doesn’t do it for us.

Susan and Tony (5/10)

Susan may survive, but this is a game for the young, and she isn’t. Despite a hot red dress, she didn’t look hot, and the dance came across as stiff and not much fun.

Misty & Maks (8/10)

Surpise of the night!! Mysty May danced with aplomb. She had smooth lines and looked as beautiful on the floor as any of her competition. She has the ability to get her technique down and has a real competitive flair. We like her chances.

Warren & Kim (6/10)

The judges were watching a different dance than we watched. Kym is phenomenal, but Warren looked like a Sap. His leg movement was OK, but his belly was bouncing all over the place and his upper body movement looked comical.

Results:

Cloris Leachman or Jeffrey Ross will be sent packing first, but it won’t matter much because the other is likely to go second.



Dancing With the Stars Previews Shocking Talents and Has Beens! (Misty May Treanor, Lance Bass, Toni Braxton, Warren Sapp)

We haven’t covered Dancing With The Stars in the past because we thought it really a kind of goofy show.  People who can’t dance but happen to have star status dancing with greats that can dance but somehow missed star quality.

Sounds like a loser mix.  So we skipped it.

But this season looks to bring back some of the stars of the show that have proven they can dance and train others along with an array of relatively interesting stars.  Most of the stars are has beens or newly exposed folk looking to broaden their horizons.  No one comes on this show that doesn’t see it as a stepping stone to something else.  This year is nothing different in that regard.

Good Morning America got first dibs on listing the stars dubbed as the largest cast ever: two Olympic Gold medalists, a Grammy®-winning singer, a television legend, an Oscar® winner, and a Super Bowl champion!

As announced today on Good Morning America, in alphabetical order, the thirteen stars making their ballroom dancing debut on September 22nd 2008 are:

LANCE BASS – Super Gay and Super successful… perhaps a chance to show his masculine side so long as his partner doesn’t lead.  Lance is dancing with SYTYD Top 4 finalist Lacey Schwimmer! That should be interesting to watch!

TONI BRAXTON – Six Grammy’s?  What could this woman be thinking?

BROOKE BURKE – Oh my.  This gal is the hottest thing since, well…heat.  Why she wants to dance with the stars remains to be seen, but we are betting it was one hell of a contract!!

ROCCO DISPIRITO – A chef showing us is it is better to dance than eat?  We doubt he has much dance talent, even if he is Italian.

MAURICE GREENE – Greene won two gold medals, in the 100m sprint and the 4x100m relay at the 2000 Sydney Summer Olympics.  We are guessing he hasn’t had much press since then, so now he needs to dance with a star.  Or was it him that was supposed to be the star?

KIM KARDASHIAN – Kimberly Noel “Kim” Kardashian.  OK, now we are getting somewhere.  Kim is clearly star quality and we don’t know if she can dance, but we honestly don’t care.  Obviously this is a chance at some exposure and we believe the more exposure this woman gets, the higher she goes.

CLORIS LEACHMAN – So yesterday!!

CODY LINLEY – Too young for us to care. Obvious stair stepping attempt.

SUSAN LUCCI – So yesterday!!

MISTY MAY-TREANOR – Now here we have someone interesting.  The Beach Volleyball champion Misty May-Treanor and partner Kerri Walsh captured their second Olympic gold medal at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics and became the first team ever to repeat as back-to-back champs. The victory also marked their 108th straight match win. This white girl can jump, but can she dance?

TED MCGINLEY – Trying to make a comeback from the classic show “Married With Children”, Ted hasn’t done much since.  Time for some more exposure?  It can’t hurt before he gets to retirement age.

JEFFREY ROSS – A stand up comic with a need for exposure.

WARREN SAPP – When you retire from football, what do you do?  Dance with the Stars?  Perhaps Warren can find the hole.

The hosts: Tom Bergeron (America’s Funniest Home Videos) and Samantha Harris (E! Entertainment)

The judges: Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba.